the 24 drinking, er, Oreo game

this season of 24 has hit a new low for lise and i. it's taken me beyond what is logically acceptable and pushed me out of the plane. there's NO WAY that the current situation could even remotely have played out this way.

now, please: don't tell me, "it's just a TV show" - like, DUH!! but come on! this whole president logan in conspiracy with the terrorists and his poor wife, aaron pierce lasting as long as he did, kim coming on the show again without doing something totally stupid, non-satellite phone reception in airplanes, bauer's knowledge of plane anatomy, and the list goes on and on and on and on....

the sad thing is: sutherland has signed on to do three more seasons! NOT a time for rejoicing.

now, all this might be driving me to drink, except that i'm not a big fan of drinking. i'm not a fan at all of drinking games. this drinking game, compiled from a couple different ones located online, has been modified to accomodate Oreo Cookies instead of drinks or shots. and of course, eating is something i do with great proficiency and skill. you ought to try it.

24 Oreo (drinking) Game

Every time...
Jack says "You have got to trust me", take 1 Oreo
-- if the emphasis is on "got", i.e. "You have GOT to trust me", take an extra Oreo
Jack says "DAMN it!" take 1 Oreo
Jack doesn't have time to explain, take 1 Oreo
Jack doesn't have time for this, take 1 Oreo
Jack says "You've got to do it", take 1 Oreo
-- if this is followed by "and you've got to do it now," take 2 more
Anyone points out something that is "against regulations", take 1 Oreo
Anyone has got to understand what is at stake here, take 1 Oreo
Anyone gets tortured, take 1 Oreo
-- if they aren't a terrorist or criminal, take another Oreo
a perimeter is set up, take 1 Oreo
-- if the perimeter is supposed to be held until someone arrives, take another Oreo
-- if the agents manning the perimeter are redeployed, take yet another Oreo
Jack takes a civilian hostage, take 1 Oreo
Jack steals a car, take 1 Oreo
Jack blows his own cover, take 1 Oreo
Jack dies, take 1 Oreo
-- if he's resuscitated, take another Oreo
- Every time somebody says "protocol," take 1 Oreo.
If Jack is able to infiltrate a building or perimeter:1 Oreo.
Take another Oreo if he makes it out alive.

*Special technical section* Every time...
Satellite coordinates are requested, take 1 Oreo
-- if they can't get the coordinates, take another
there's a problem with the database, take 1 Oreo
a file is in the wrong format, take 1 Oreo
something needs to be rerouted, take 1 Oreo
someone uses another person's computer, take 1 Oreo

1) The time is displayed. (1 Oreo)
2) There is an explosion, a bomb going off, or a plane/helicopter crash. (1 Oreo)
3) A tender or sentimental moment is interrupted by a ringing cell phone. (2 Oreos)
4) There is a major plot twist that renders a significant amount of work done by CTU/Jack Bauer useless. (1 Oreo)
5) Someone you thought was with the "good guys" is revealed to be in with the "bad guys." (2 Oreos)
6) Someone is held at gunpoint. (1 Oreo)
7) A defibrulator is used (1 Oreo).
If it actually saves the persons life. (2 Oreos)
8) Someone dies. (1 Oreo)
If they're a A CTU / Governmental executive or other major plot character. (2 Oreos)
If the person is killed just before they reveal important information, discover something crucial, or solve some puzzle. (3 Oreos)
9) Jack Bauer miraculously recovers from an injury or very narrowly escapes certain death. (2 Oreos)
10) Jack Bauer does something that is against protocol. (1 Oreo)
If he gets caught. (2 Oreos)
11) Jack Bauer asks to speak to the president. (1 Oreo)
If he says "It's important." (2 Oreos)
12) Jack Bauer yells, "Drop your weapon!" (1 Oreo)
13) Jack Bauer says, "You just have to trust me" (1 Oreo)
14) Jack Bauer interrogates someone. (1 Oreo)
If Jack gets pissed off and yells, throws things (or them) around. (2 Oreos)
If Jack kills them afterward. (3 Oreos)
15) Some computer whiz at CTU decodes, analyzes, decrypts, or hacks something. (1 Oreo)
16) Kim Bauer says or does something extraordinarily stupid. (gets kidnapped, lies to the authorites, etc) (2 Oreos)
17) An old character who you thought was dead, fired, or gone forever comes back to surprise everyone (2 Oreos).
18) Someone is being a complete asshole, or a total moron and is preventing CTU, Jack, or the "good guys" from saving the day. (1 Oreo)
If the above someone is Kim or Sherry (2 Oreos)
19) Sherry Palmer says "I'm doing this for you, David", or "This is for the good of your Presidency".(2 Oreos)
20) Someone on Palmer?s staff advises him not to do something. (1 Oreo)
If he does it anyway. (2 Oreos)
21) Someone on Palmer's staff does something sneaky behind his back. (1 Oreo)
If Palmer fires them for it. (2 Oreos)
22) Information is leaked to the press. (1 Oreo)
If the leak was unintentional (2 Oreos)
23) Someone without government clearance is told a secret they aren?t supposed to tell anyone. (1 Oreo)
They tell someone anyway. (2 Oreos)
If Someone is Kim. (3 Oreos)
24) Something bad happens three seconds before the episode ends. (Finish your Oreo)

woe to you who try to play the 24 oreo game while watching the show on DVD!