that's disgusting!

one of the things i pine for since leaving Washington DC 5 years ago is the Washington Post. for world news, top political coverage and editorials, it's just a fantastic paper.

but that's not all.

they also have THREE PAGES of COMICS!

yes. that's right. three pages.

one of the strips that they introduced 7 or 8 years ago is called Liberty Meadows. it's one of the best drawn strips out there and also one of the dumbest. frank cho is a comic book artist who apparently LOVES boobs. his main character is a chick named Brandy who has... well, a sizeable chest. i've enjoyed cho's artistic ability but his ability to write is... less than stellar. his strips revolve around brandy's chest and the animals at the animal refuge (hospital?) she works at. it was funny the first couple months, but he ought to stick with marvel comics.

at any rate, reading through some of the past strips, i came across the following and it reminded me of my dog, Dolby.


be sure to click on the strip to see and read the whole thing.




to which dolby says:

the next item up for bid.... A NEW CAR!!

my trusty old 1993 Saturn SW2 wagon has been a real workhorse. we've had it for nine years and have put 150,000 miles on it for a grand total of 195,000 miles. it's consistently gotten 30mpg since buying it and we've put almost no money into it except oil changes and routine tune ups. youth group teens from years past have nicknamed it "The Recycling Bin" because of how much garbage and junk i keep piled in it and i typically, affectionately call it "the wagon" or "the piece of junk" - it's been a good car for a long time.

but.

and someone's but is always getting in the way, isn't it?

but about a month ago i started having trouble with acceleration and herky-jerky-ness. i knew something big was going down but i wasn't sure what. fuel pump? a gasket? and then it dawned on me: it's the clutch. a major thing. uh-oh.

so i kept driving it and praying. and then wednesday we took it to saturn of western hills - a most awesome place. they've been great to lise and i with our two saturns over the last five years. we turned the wagon over to cary and i told him: it's the clutch.

and he calls an hour later and says, "you're right."

"what's the damage" i ask him.

"$800+ and there's more things that will need your attention in the next year."

i jokingly told lise we ought to just ditch the wagon and get a new car. and she said, "let's check what they've got" so i ask the lady on the floor, "what's on the lot under $10,000" and she says, "only one thing - a 2004 Saturn Ion 1 with 27,000 miles for $9,995."

out we go to check it out - and it's a nice car!

5 speed manual, 4 cyl, 2.2 ltr engine with power NOTHING (the way i like it - why pay all that money for power windows, locks, etc?) except steering. CD player, A/C, 28mpg city and 36mpg highway, soundproofed to keep road noise out, a year left on a bumper-to-bumper warranty AND a lifetime powertrain warranty included. payments would be under $200/month and our insurance would only go up $20/month.

what's not to like?

so we went in and as we're filling out the paperwork, i said to becky, our saleslady, "you know what would make this a definite deal?" "what's that," she asks. "give it to us for $9,995 INCLUDING titles, tags and taxes." "hmm. that's asking a lot," she says, "but i'll run it by my manager - he likes teachers!"

10 minutes later we're finalizing a deal on the car for $9,250. woo-woo! my philosophy has always been, "the worst they can say is no, so you may as well ask!" but this, coupled with my borderline paranoia keeps my expectations low.

talk about being thankful for things - this has been a real surprise and blessing to me. that wagon's been great, but when you've been driving something for almost a decade, you don't really realize what a piece of junk it is. this new car is so sweet and it really rides well. and it's QUIET which for me is a HUGE deal. engine's quiet. the ride is quiet. and smooth.

it's our fourth saturn. if they keep treating us like this (and they will), we're gonna end up with a fifth when lise's is ready to go in a couple years.

come on over. we'll give you a ride in it while the new car smell is still in there.

lurking, are you?

not for long, perhaps.

my AIM account has been active for years and years. before AIM was cool, i was on it. i may have been the reason AIM became cool in the first place, who knows.

my ICQ account is one of the originals. while membership on ICQ is now numbering in the hundreds of millions, my account number is 744908 - i've been on ICQ since the beginning of instant messaging.

my buddy list? hundreds. active? most of them.

so what's the point?

one of the things about AIM that is both cool and not cool is the ability to lurk - to have someone else on your buddy list but that person doesn't know you have them on there. you can read all their profiles, their away messages, see when they're on and off, etc.

over the last year, probably a dozen people have been outed as lurkers because of viruses - you know, the ones where someone "sends" you a message saying something like, "hi!! I just edited one of our pictures in photosuite, you think I should put it to myspace?" and then there's a URL to click on? and then kaboom - you've got a virus because you download something hoping to see pictures or whatever. and the next thing you know, AIM sends a message to everyone on your list who's logged in.

and i'm always logged in.

and some of my lurkers are then like, "holy crap!" and are embarrassed that they were outed.

and others won't respond at all.

and a small minority are like, "hey! how're ya?" like nothing strange is going on.

haha. well, at any rate, this message is a warning to either:
a) beware of messages from people who claim to have edited pictures with you in them
b) out yourselves before you're outed involuntarily

honestly, i think the whole thing is rather funny, but it does make me wonder... who's out there lurking and watching...?

besides George W, that is.

jack's taking a civilian hostage

proof of further degradation of the franchise.

there's GOT to be something we can do!

how about this! we'll set up a perimeter around keifer sutherland and have curtis guard him so no one can take advantage of the poor viewers and thus preventing the public beating to death of jack bauer.

for those about to rock...

i've had a hearing problem for as long as i can remember. i've had some funny experiences with what i think i hear and what is actually said. if you've been around me for any amount of time, you've probably experienced it yourself.

one thing i've never been able to do is understand lyrics to songs without having the lyrics in front of me- even songs where there's not enough music to interfere with the words - i just can't understand them! it's been a problem ever since i fell in love with music thirty-some-odd years ago. i learned to enjoy the music and worry about the words later (if ever).

this past week i've not been able to get AC/DC's song "You Shook Me All Night Long" out of my head. now, Back In Black was one of the first albums i ever owned as a jr. higher back in 1980 (in fact, i think my grandma bought this and For Those About To Rock for me for Christmas). the rocking tunes and screaming vocals not to mention the crunching guitar of angus young - it was great!

but back to the point: You Shook Me All Night Long has been stuck and i find myself over and over and over starting off with the opening riff, going right into the thumping drum and then: the lyrics that i've never understood (except for a couple lines like the chorus). the lyrics to songs generally get treated like music - i can't identify the instrument but i know it's good and goes well with the song.

so i decided to crank the song up (over and over) and look up the lyrics online.

and i had to laugh. what an awesome frickin' song! and so silly! it's no wonder it's such a lasting anthem - i mean, wouldn't it be awesome if sex were always like that?? it's the ultimate male fantasy! the walls was shakin, the earth was quaking, my mind was achin, we were making it and you... shook me all night long!

well, the lyrics certainly are illuminating and only make the song better. now i can rock with full knowledge and understanding! i can now work doubletime on the seduction line! YES!!

i've always been borderline paranoid

well, maybe that's an exaggeration, but there are a lot of times when i'm really not sure whether what people say is the truth, whether something i've worked for i'll actually receive, whether the intentions of the person(s) i'm dealing with are in the right place, whether i actually deserve something i'm told i deserve (or think, at times, that i DO deserve), if someone is talking about or planning against me, etc.

now, we can psychobabble this to the end of time (it's trust issues, it's poor self-esteem, it's that i've been hurt X number of times, my mommy didn't love me, my ice cream fell off the cone in 1st grade, i listened to too much judas priest when i was growing up, i had a girlfriend who laughed at me when she saw me naked, i was breast-fed, i wasn't breast-fed, i'm co-dependent, i drink too much water, i don't lather-rinse-repeat - choose the one that makes you feel best) but it won't help the situation.

i graduated several months ago from Cincinnati Christian University. in other words, i finished my coursework. it felt good and strange but i was sure that something would come up to screw it up. i wouldn't get my diploma and i'd have to do something else (another class? some weird requirement i didn't hear about 5 years ago?) to get it.

then i graduated a month ago during a ceremony at CCU, but none of us got our diplomas when we walked the stage. why? they wanted to make sure we actually did everything we needed to do to satisfy graduation requirements. i was certain (although i only shared it with a few people) that something would come up and even though i walked the stage, i'd not get the diploma. "the other foot" (that i feel so used to sometimes) would come crashing through and prove to me what i already knew: i screwed up somewhere and i'm not really graduated yet.

well, the diploma came today. i'm not sure what happened to the other foot (or what implication this holds for my semi-paranoid psychosis) but now it's real.

i've really graduated from college.

now to hide the diploma so when the government men in their black helicopters come and break into my foil-lined office to steal it, they won't be able to find it.

that last part was a joke.

life with the beach

lise and i are trying to decide if we're gonna make a summer trip to the beach or not.

taken over christmas last year, our trip to pensacola ended up being the best vacation we've ever had.

why? truth is, we've never taken conventional vacations in our 16 year marriage. we usually take a couple days, fill the gas tank and just go driving, stop randomly, hang out, then move on. we've never gone someplace and stayed for several days. ever.

we got a condo right across the street from the gulf of mexico and it was gorgeous and perfect. we hit the beach every late morning and found hundreds of seashells and sand dollars (brought back 5 gallon-sized bags full of them) and got our feet very cold in the water (outdoor temps were in the upper 50's, lower 60's and the water temp was about 60 - but hey! when you're from cincinnati where the avg. december temp is 18....). drove around the city of pensacola (and quickly realized: the beach is more interesting). rushed to the beach every day at 4:45pm to snag pictures of the sunsets (absolutely the best sunsets we've ever seen). hung out at the condo later in the evenings and watched movies and had dinner. ate at flounder's our last night there (the key lime pie was the highlight).

simply put: it was the best vacation ever.

well, the condo we stayed at is available for the third week of august and amazingly at the same price as we paid back in december! almost $300 less than peak season of July! what does this tell me? pensacola beach empties out by mid-august, which would be perfect for us!

we've asked our good friends travis and sarah if they'd like to come with us this time. negotiations are pending. obviously money is the biggest issue.

but for 5 days on an incredible beach? it's worth it.

no, really - turn up your sound and click play: the Evolution of Dance

...and one for the road

today was the last day of school for both lise and i and what a year it's been.

lise admits that it was anti-climactic for her: hey kids! last day of school? good! get the heck out!!

for me, i've only been at this school since... february? there were some good times, some great people, the kids were cool... but not enough of a connection to really pull at the heartstrings.

we're looking forward to three months off together. oh, yeah baby!

why don't you come over and have dinner with us sometime?