rustypants speaks

www.rustypants.net

2007-06-16T09:02:00.000-05:00

www.rustypants.net is the place to go for the mindless blogging exploits of scott rust.

don't be sad. it's worth the click.

really.

THIS BLOG IS MOVING - www.rustypants.net

2006-08-19T11:13:00.000-05:00

hey folks:

i've spent the last week tinkering with a new website - i was looking for something to replace the old youth group site and the result is:

www.rustypants.net

there's still some kinks to knock out of it but that'll come in due time. for now, start checking over there for new posts. if you've linked me, change your links, too.

lise and i are leaving for florida early sunday morning and will be back sometime next saturday (the 26th). will be testing a feature of the new blog by blogging by phone and pocket PC.

will it work?

who knows. check here to find out!

FYI to all you bloggers out there: getting rustypants.net registered and blog-ready wasn't that difficult and was DIRT CHEAP - also registered www.scottandlise.com - both of them together (including hundreds of email accounts, gigs of web space, a blog for each one and easy to use templates for the webpages) was only $44.88 for a year. this is where we got it from.

as someone who's been putting up websites for over 10 years, this is the best deal, easiest setup and manipulation i've ever dealt with.

geez, i sound like an infomercial now.

1-800-SUICIDE in crisis

2006-08-18T16:52:00.000-05:00

i'd heard several months ago that the 1-800-SUICIDE crisis hotline was having trouble raising money to pay their phone bill - the argument was one-sided with the non-profit hotline claiming that the federal government was reneging on a deal to fund them (and that since then, the gov't set up it's own hotline with the intent of getting personal info from the callers).

the washington post today has an article that gives it a different slant.

and what to do? the washington post is no friend of president bush and his government - they're a liberal-leaning paper that ought to be friendly to such groups as the hotline. i can only hope that maybe this is just the other side's story and that the truth lies in the middle somewhere.

i'm still supportive (and supporting) the 1-800-SUICIDE hotline and encourage you to do the same. groups like this are vital to folks needing a lifeline in the depth of horrible depression and crisis. i'd rather err on the side of caution in this case than to condemn based on a newspaper article.

NOOOOOooooooooooooo!!!!

2006-08-18T15:44:00.000-05:00

i guess we knew it had to happen at some point.

you don't get away with selling 70,000,000 copies of a series of books (albeit theologically shaky ones), having 3 movies (albeit horribly made ones), and being on the New York Times bestsellers list over and over again without having a video game being made about said series.

one more thing to be made fun of about, i suppose.

in this article in the washington post today, a spokesman for the Christian Game Developers Foundation says:

"You can't kill people in the name of God and put it in the game play and hope it won't offend people," he said.

On the other hand, Bagley said he understands the need for a gamemaker to put in plenty of action to appeal to the market.

"There are people out there who think that if it's a Christian game, it has to be about putting two animals on an ark," he said. "But how many people are going to play that?"

my thoughts exactly.

seen around town

2006-08-17T19:31:00.000-05:00

paid ministry dilemma and discussion continues

2006-08-16T03:05:00.000-05:00

following my rant on God saving me from his followers, i've received a good amount of email, IM's and phone calls about the issue of church, God's people, and my situation, among other things.

one of the IM's i got was from an old friend, greg teselle. he wrote a plea for all paid ministers to resign a couple months ago and i think it's worth taking a look at.

i'll take his argument a step further, in fact.

long before the fiasco at my previous church occurred, i had been struggling with the concept of paid ministry.

why?

1. the church gets cheapened by becoming not only your "brothers and sisters" but also your "employer" - where does the line get drawn?
2. what is the standard by which ministers are then held?
a. attendance?
b. how the leadership perceives your ministry is going?
c. whether you use _________ (fill in the blank) enough times in your sermon each week
d. how many people are "saved" each year/quarter/month/week
e. number of baptisms?
f. how much is in the collection plate each week?
g. make up your own here
3. what happens when life takes a turn and the minister is unable to minister as he had before? when the minister needs ministering, will the church cut and run?
4. the pressure of pleasing the select group that must be pandered to (leadership? deacons? elders? the founding family of the church? the biggest contributor?) means that you've already knocked out the Holy Spirit's guidance. (this is NOT an indictment on all churches or my saying that all churches i've worked with or attended have been run this way)

in essence: church becomes a business. it becomes less about the grace of God and becomes more about a set of man-made standards that are arbitrarily made and/or followed.

this isn't always true, and i freely admit that there are a large number of churches out there that are doing fantastic ministry without petty squabbles, money-related issues, factions engaged in behind-the-scenes wrangling, ministers with wrong motives, etc.

but i wonder: if paid ministers quit, what would happen? would the church suddenly take notice that they had a responsibility that goes beyond warming pews and dropping a dollar in the plate on Sunday mornings? would the sheep stand up and lead? and would the goats scatter?

what's my experience in this area? i was the volunteer youth minister at a couple churches over the course of 10 years. over the last 4-5 years, i've been on staff as the paid youth minister. i've seen both sides and frankly, i can't imagine going into paid ministry again. my vision as of the summer of 2005 was to go to grad school, get my master's degree in special ed, quit as the paid youth minister and continue as the youth minister in a volunteer capacity.

so: is there a solution?

i think the model greg is trying with his church, shale harbor, is a good start. root around a little bit and look at what they're doing.

check out this article from last Sunday's washington post talking about alternate forms of worship pursued by folks who are tired/burned out on the traditional church model.

read george barna's book, "Revolution: Burned Out On Church? Finding vibrant faith beyond the walls of the sanctuary." i'm part way through it now, and as barna is probably the biggest statistics dude out there in evangelical america, he's got a lot to say on shifting perceptions in the traditional church business.

i'm encouraged by the things i see happening.

but i'm still shopping for a good jockstrap.

freakin me out, dude!

2006-08-16T02:47:00.000-05:00

i've gotta tell you: the whole 'talking website avatar' thing freaks the crap out of me.

i first ran into this a couple months ago on a website by a dude calling himself a web evangelist. not only was i freaked out, i figured it had to be a joke. why would anyone seeking Jesus want to be weirded out by a fake cartoon "person" "talking" to them and eyes following your cursor all over the place?

and as a secondary issue: when you claim to be wanting to help Christians evangelize the web, your own site has to be something that people would want to look at. this internetminister.org site is VERY poorly put together and looks about 6-7 years out of date (which, as the joke goes, is about how far behind most christians are with the rest of the world anyway). i still can't tell if the guy is serious based on the poor quality of his images, content, grammar and knowledge of what the typical web surfer looks at and pursues.

at any rate, please: trash the avatars.

politics as usual

2006-08-10T09:56:00.000-05:00

politics has always interested me and caused me to laugh.

Rep. Jean Schmidt has bought an Ethanol-burning vehicle.

why? to fight terrorism, of course!

Schmidt's opponent in this election, Victoria Wulsin, says: Schmidt's not being sincere.

Schmidt: Look at me! I'm fighting terrorism!
Wulsin: You're not sincere!
Schmidt: Oh yeah? You should practice what you preach!
Wulsin: Fine!! If elected, I'll ride my bike!!
Schmidt: Hah!! If I'm re-elected, I'll walk!
Wulsin: Nuh-uh!!
Schmidt: Uh-huh!!
Wulsin: Nuh-uh!!
Schmidt: Uh-huh!!
Wulsin: Oh yeah!?! Well, if I'm elected, I'll walk, too, and I'll walk UPHILL both ways!!
Schmidt: Well.. well, whatever!! If I'm re-elected I'll walk both ways uphill AND through five feet of snow!
Wulsin: Liar!
Schmidt: Am not!
Wulsin: Are too!! I'll walk uphill both ways, through five feet of snow and... and... and I'll do it without shoes!
Schmidt: Now you're being silly. Media hog!
Wulsin: Oh yeah, little miss Rep-Murtha-is-a-cut-and-run-coward!?!
Schmidt: Hey, that's not fair!
Wulsin: Oh, boo-hoo!

how silly. and we're supposed to vote for one of these clowns?

hahaha!! er, i mean: BLASPHEMY!!!

2006-08-09T09:19:00.000-05:00

image borrowed from marriedtothesea.com,
a website that is both hilarious and quite
off-color at times. if you're sensitive to this
type of thing, don't go check it out.

100 people surveyed, top answers on the board...

2006-08-08T23:49:00.000-05:00

Surveys typically drive me nuts - i don't see the point in answering things like, "have you ever made out? what are you wearing? who's the last person you yelled at?" but this was on someone else's blog and doggone it, here i am.

i'm a loser, i know.

1. One book that changed your life:
More Than A Carpenter by Josh McDowell
little. tiny. book. really made a huge difference in my life.

2. One book that you've read more than once:
The Stand by Stephen King
this book has done the shock-and-awe on me since reading it the first time back in high school. stunning book, maybe not a literary classic, but the vision and harrowing nature of it... dunno. have read it probably eight times in the past 16 years. while king's writing is usually hit-or-miss (and it's usually one hit, two misses, one hit, two misses) this one is right on the money.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island:
The Stories of Ray Bradbury by Ray Bradbury
100 of Bradbury's favorite stories - awesome short stories that can be read over and over. very vivid imagery.

4. One book that made you laugh:
The Umbrella Man and other stories by Roald Dahl
Dahl is an incredible storyteller. humorous, ironic, sarcastic, hilarious. i woke lise up a couple times laughing while reading this in bed over the course of a week. i fell in love with his writing as a boy (most notably, Danny, Champion of the World and James and the Giant Peach) and as an old man i still find him to be a riot.

5. One book that made you cry:
Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
probably my favorite book of all time. the melancholy sweetness of the story, the optimism found, lost and regained, the coming of age and pining for a simpler time, the realization of things lost and the marching of time - bittersweet.

6. One book you wish had been written:
Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts

7. One book you wish had never been written:
The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien
i've never thrashed myself so hard as i have in trying to read this book. several times over the past 25 years i'll pick it up, get 40 pages into it and put it down with a splitting headache. too much! too much!!

8. One book you're currently reading:

A Great Improvisation : Franklin, France, and the Birth of America by Stacy Schiff
i've been reading a lot of history and biography this past year and a half - very strange for a guy who has read fiction 2-3 hours every night for the past 27 years. David McCullough has been at the top of the list of authors, but schiff won the Pulitzer Prize for biography with this one last year. took me two tries to get into it, but it's a good one.

9. One book you've been meaning to read:
Teacher Man by Frank McCourt
McCourt wrote a book called Angela's Ashes several years ago - i got it at sam's club cheap because the cover intrigued me. it's a stream of consciousness account of McCourt's growing up in Ireland with THE dysfunctional irish family. this is book three of his memoirs and it's been difficult to get to it with about 10 other books lined up to read...

and now, to add a few categories of my own:

10. One book that has scared the crap out of you:
Harvest Home by Thomas Tryon
this is another book that has been re-read many times and it still scares the crap out of me. it's old. it's out of print. it's worth hunting down at a used bookstore and reading it.

11. The one book that is most recommended to others by you:
Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry by Doug Fields
having done youth ministry for thirteen plus years, this is the best book out there for folks who are starting out in this ministry. fields is not my favorite writer by any stretch, but this is good for those who have no idea what they're doing or maybe just need some guidance.

QUAD...ruple bypass?

2006-08-06T00:55:00.000-05:00

who

needs

this

much

meat

on

their

hamburger?

anybody?

mandibles of death, indeed

2006-08-03T10:59:00.000-05:00

much has been made of the fact that my dog, dolby, has mandibles of death when it comes to toys. as an eight month old black lab, he doesn't as much "play" with toys as hunt them down and kill them.

we've decided to follow in the footsteps of Timothy Leary, who, upon learning he was dying from prostate cancer, videotaped his final dying months.

last night at 2200 hours we gave dolby the Dr. Noy's supposedly somewhat indestructible plush teddy bear toy you see to the right.

cute, isn't he?

he was, at least. by 2300 hours, the cute, somewhat indestructible teddy bear was already being torn to shreds. what follows is a pictorial review of the subsequent 25 hours. be warned: it's not for the faint of heart.

click on individual pics for clarity and hour-by-hour captions.
after spending $22.00 on two of these toys (the other was a sheep whose grisly fate was met even quicker than the bear's), not to mention incalculable amounts of money on other fun squeaky toys, i think we're just going to give dolby bricks and barbed wire to chew on and play with.

my new motto: indestructible? HAHAHAHAHAA

goodness, don't we all need to do this a bit more often?

2006-08-01T23:31:00.000-05:00

above image came from marriedtothesea.com

and oh. my. gosh. is it a funny site.

2006-07-30T10:15:00.000-05:00

i don't want to start grad school in three weeks.

God, protect me from your followers!

2006-07-25T00:37:00.000-05:00

over the last couple weeks, i've gotten some friendly inquiries from a couple folks wanting to know if my faith is doing ok.

and my response would have to be, "faith in what?" or "faith in whom?"

well, you know, ever since you were somewhat screwed over by your last church. since you and lise have been dealing with mind-numbing medical and mental health issues for the last 3 years. you know, since you feel like you've been on the continual downside of the rollercoaster. since you've not gone back to church since leaving the ministry. you know, since you don't really talk about Jesus in all of your blog posts (i mean, you are a minister, aren't you? you are a christian, right?).

let me dispel this myth.

i admit: after the shock of being treated the way i was at the church, my faith in God got a little shaky. it sure felt like we were being singled out for continual persecution and kicks in the crotch and if God has the power to stop all this and i keep begging him and begging him to do so, and then the people who are supposed to help me by ministering to me (even as i minister to teens) take a swift kick at my crotch, too... well, that certainly was difficult. since God didn't stop it, then it must be God having fun kicking us around.

depression hit me pretty hard. self-doubt hit hard. questions and anger at God hit hard. i couldn't believe that God would do this to me!

and the reality is: he didn't.

another reality is: i can cry, moan, whine, beg, plead, be angry, scream and hold my breath until i'm blue in the face, but God didn't set out to prove a point by torturing me or lise.

sometimes crap happens.

and i think that God gets too much of the credit and too much of the blame. i also think satan gets too much credit and blame as well.

so towards what, then, has my faith suffered?

God's people.

i know, i know - it's an unfair, blanket statement. but the shock of 17+ years of following Jesus and seeing God's people treating others of God's people with SO much disrespect (and then being on the receiving end in such a time of need) - this really put me over the top. it's made it difficult for me to trust and even listen to Christians because i'm wondering what their motives really are. wondering what they're really thinking.

jim snyder told me back in december as i was first dealing with what had happened: scott, we're all broken sinners and we don't play well in the sandbox together. it still seems too simplistic to me but i guess it'll have to work.

in the last 2 weeks alone, two friends of mine who are also in ministry have been dealt with in similar (yet different) ways, the end result being their leaving the church/ministry. over the last 17 years, we've seen people in leadership get forced out over the silliest things. we've seen folks in the congregations we've been a part of get hurt (at the hands of leaders and/or other lay people) to the point of leaving and with no restoration of peace or fellowship. we've seen people get used and discarded. we've seen people who needed to be taken care of and ministered to get shunned and ignored.

and i can't imagine that God sits back and says, "good work, folks! this is exactly what i was talking about when i sent my son to die for y'all! keep it up!"

am i guilty, too? definitely.

are there good and awesome things happening in the name of God? absolutely.

but right this minute, i can't imagine going to a church and opening myself back up again, sharing my life with a group of people who i'll wonder if i'm going to get hurt again. see, several older guys who've been in ministry a long time advised me that i shared too much - with the youth group and with the senior ministers. they advise me that i should have kept my mouth shut and just dealt with the things going on in our lives alone.

but i don't think that's what ministry's about - ministry can't be conducted in a vacuum. God works, leads, directs us through our lives and the everyday things, in part.

keep it to myself? hold it in? don't share myself with the folks i minister to? keep it on the superficial? i've served under a minister who did just that. he's a good teacher but his interpersonal skills and compassion (as well as leadership skills) are awful. he admits he doesn't like dealing with people and would rather not be leading a church.

i'd rather not do ministry at all than to have to guard and shield myself from God's followers.

my faith in God? rock solid. i don't understand why all this is happening, but God's not up there with levers and switches angling a big shoe at my crotch.

my faith in God's people? shaky. will this improve? i hope so.

i may just have to invest in a good jockstrap before i get back into church.

it's the drive that drives me

2006-07-22T09:41:00.000-05:00

i love driving.

i must've gotten it from my dad. my mom? more than 15 minutes in the car and she's had enough. no joke.

the drive from cincinnati to maryland is 550 miles. we love taking this 9 hour trek for various reasons, from together time to driving back roads half of the way and seeing the beautiful mountains in west virginia and western maryland to being able to take our time and mosey or make stops.

and another reason is the strange sites along the way.

Ohio's Smallest Church is one of those sites and it's an odd place. it's situated across the street from a rest area in Athens County, Ohio in the middle of a field off Ohio Rt 32. until just 6-7 months ago there was no driveway or parking lot. we first noticed it a couple years ago and first stopped in last year.

clicking on the picture will give you a better idea of the scale of the place. the front door is maybe 6.5' high, so the whole building itself can't be much higher. there are stained glass windows on the sides, a steeple with a real bell inside, 4 pews on the inside, an altar and a place to put your prayer requests.

i was hesitant to go into this church because of the "spine-tingling" factor. have you ever had that? someplace has something "special" in the feeling of it and you're certain that (despite the understanding that God is everywhere) "God is here" - i try to avoid that (and as a youth minister i try to avoid that for my teens) because i don't want to box God up. at any rate, the spine-tingling was present and if nothing else, it's quite a peaceful place. you figure: driving for hours, the noise of the road, of the music you're playing, of the thoughts you're thinking, and suddenly: silence. peace. quiet. breathe. sit. pray.

breathe. sit. pray.

i could use a reminder about that every now and then.

we were further rewarded as we continued home by a spectacular sunset viewed from Keim's Amish Market in Seaman, Ohio. the sky looked like a fireball was rolling across it, ready to burn through and scorch the land. pretty cool.

driving, discovering new places, revisiting old - these are the things that make life good.

our trip to maryland was rather queer

2006-07-21T12:41:00.000-05:00

one of the things about having a dog is that there's always something interesting going on. when you couple this basic truth about a dog with a second dog, things get really strange.

when we go to maryland we always stay with our good friends barb and joe. they've been friends of ours for almost 15 years now and we share many things together. barb was the youth director at our church when we first met her and she was really supportive of our getting involved with the group. over the years they've become family. we spend every thanksgiving with them and usually a week in the summer.

this past week was spent at their house in bowie, maryland. joe is the executive director of FIDO's, an assistance dog organization. he is also the owner of Ace, an ass-kicking black lab service dog. ace it a big boy and he serves joe well.

needless to say, when we get our black lab, Dolby, together with their lab, all playful hell breaks loose. one minute it sounds as though they are going to kill each other, the next minute they're wrestling over a toy, and the next minute they're laying next to each other hanging out. it's a lot like junior high ministry.

this week, however, dolby's non-existent sex-drive kicked in and he repeatedly was trying to hump ace. was it dominance? was it that we have a homo dog? was it acting out? was it dolby thinking he still had his gonads? did dolby think that ace was a chick? was it ace being subservient? or maybe he was just caught unawares.

at any rate, as we took some pics during the visit, lise inadvertantly snapped a picture of dolby assuming the position.

and it was good enough to share.

enjoy.

we're gonna have to break him of this habit, though. to quote joe, "That's RUDE!"

caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom

2006-07-12T23:53:00.000-05:00

Syd Barrett died.

for most of you, this is probably not a name you're familiar with, but for this old man... well.

i was turned on to Pink Floyd by the sister of my best friend in junior high. ken had bought me an album by Billy Joel for my birthday and i already had it (52nd Street, maybe?) - ken's sister worked at Globe Records and Tapes in the plaza a couple miles from my house. i walked into the store and asked for some help in returning it and getting something else. what would she suggest, my 7th grade former self asked.

and she gave me Wish You Were Here.

and life as i knew it was changed forever.

i didn't know anything about Pink Floyd at this point. never heard of dark side of the moon. didn't know animals. no idea who syd barrett was or that Wish You Were Here was dedicated to him and was essentially about him.

sonically, WYWH is probably my favorite Floyd album. the range of the music was mind-blowing. the guitar work of david gilmour - holy cow! the whole thing was mesmerizing.

soon after, i was loaned The Wall and Dark Side of the Moon.

and then i went back further and discovered syd, hiding among the first two albums PF made.

then i bought his 2 solo albums.

did i like them? sure. did i love them? hmm. no. syd's music was a bit too far gone for me. was he a genius? i suppose. misunderstood genius? definitely.

at any rate, RIP syd. if nothing else, you started the band that would build on your insanity and blow our minds. thanks.

when there's one minute to go 'til the lights go down low

2006-07-05T23:38:00.000-05:00

several folks asked me today what lise and i did for the 4th of july.

i feel a little foolish. we didn't go see fireworks. we didn't go to a cookout. we didn't get together with the family. we didn't get hammered at the bar. we didn't go to a swim party.

we went to the drive-in.

lise and i have been going to the drive-in for several years now. here in the cincinnati area, we've got two to choose from. the holiday auto theatre is up in hamilton (or "hamiltucky" as the locals call it) and it's ok (check out their ridiculously long page on "house rules" and you'll get the feeling that we get when we go there: Yeeesh!! anything ELSE we can't do?) but rather restrictive.

the other drive-in we go to is the Starlite Drive-In out in Amelia. the starlite ROCKS. really nice folks, nice atmosphere, good screen (some drive-in screens are dark or falling apart - beware!) and almost always good movies.

so what is it about the drive-in that we like? hmm, well....

BIG FRIGGIN SCREEN - woo-woo!
fresh outdoors air
snuggling together in the car (get your mind outta the gutter)
cranking the sound in the car however loud we want
TWO movies for the price of ONE (always double feature at the Starlite and admission is only $6/person)
first-run movies all the time
gets us out of the house and into each others arms
no distractions from people around us, like at regular movie theaters

so what'd we see? Nacho Libre was the first one and, i admit, i thought for SURE it was gonna be a dog. jack black is an idiot and i was doubtful that there was ANYTHING he could produce that i would like. i was wrong. jack, i'm sorry. you're funny in a very stupid kinda way.

Click was the second movie. again, apologies to adam sandler. i was starting to give up on him. now, this movie isn't intelligent fare and it's loaded with predictable dialogue, sequencing and conclusion, but despite all these things: it was funny. and decent. you can take the kids to see either one of these movies.

there's just something about the drive-in. if you've never been, please: do yourself a favor and check it out. you can go to Drive-Ins.com and plug in your zip code and find the closest one to you.

you'll thank me for it.

and if you're at the starlite this coming sunday night, you'll see us - we're seeing the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie!

my mom is funny

2006-07-02T23:58:00.000-05:00

she cut this out of the paper and gave it to me.

and i laughed for about 5 minutes over it.

and then i laughed more over it since then.

pathetic?

maybe.

that's disgusting!

2006-06-25T20:03:00.000-05:00

one of the things i pine for since leaving Washington DC 5 years ago is the Washington Post. for world news, top political coverage and editorials, it's just a fantastic paper.

but that's not all.

they also have THREE PAGES of COMICS!

yes. that's right. three pages.

one of the strips that they introduced 7 or 8 years ago is called Liberty Meadows. it's one of the best drawn strips out there and also one of the dumbest. frank cho is a comic book artist who apparently LOVES boobs. his main character is a chick named Brandy who has... well, a sizeable chest. i've enjoyed cho's artistic ability but his ability to write is... less than stellar. his strips revolve around brandy's chest and the animals at the animal refuge (hospital?) she works at. it was funny the first couple months, but he ought to stick with marvel comics.

at any rate, reading through some of the past strips, i came across the following and it reminded me of my dog, Dolby.

be sure to click on the strip to see and read the whole thing.

to which dolby says:

the next item up for bid.... A NEW CAR!!

2006-06-16T13:58:00.000-05:00

my trusty old 1993 Saturn SW2 wagon has been a real workhorse. we've had it for nine years and have put 150,000 miles on it for a grand total of 195,000 miles. it's consistently gotten 30mpg since buying it and we've put almost no money into it except oil changes and routine tune ups. youth group teens from years past have nicknamed it "The Recycling Bin" because of how much garbage and junk i keep piled in it and i typically, affectionately call it "the wagon" or "the piece of junk" - it's been a good car for a long time.

but.

and someone's but is always getting in the way, isn't it?

but about a month ago i started having trouble with acceleration and herky-jerky-ness. i knew something big was going down but i wasn't sure what. fuel pump? a gasket? and then it dawned on me: it's the clutch. a major thing. uh-oh.

so i kept driving it and praying. and then wednesday we took it to saturn of western hills - a most awesome place. they've been great to lise and i with our two saturns over the last five years. we turned the wagon over to cary and i told him: it's the clutch.

and he calls an hour later and says, "you're right."

"what's the damage" i ask him.

"$800+ and there's more things that will need your attention in the next year."

i jokingly told lise we ought to just ditch the wagon and get a new car. and she said, "let's check what they've got" so i ask the lady on the floor, "what's on the lot under $10,000" and she says, "only one thing - a 2004 Saturn Ion 1 with 27,000 miles for $9,995."

out we go to check it out - and it's a nice car!

5 speed manual, 4 cyl, 2.2 ltr engine with power NOTHING (the way i like it - why pay all that money for power windows, locks, etc?) except steering. CD player, A/C, 28mpg city and 36mpg highway, soundproofed to keep road noise out, a year left on a bumper-to-bumper warranty AND a lifetime powertrain warranty included. payments would be under $200/month and our insurance would only go up $20/month.

what's not to like?

so we went in and as we're filling out the paperwork, i said to becky, our saleslady, "you know what would make this a definite deal?" "what's that," she asks. "give it to us for $9,995 INCLUDING titles, tags and taxes." "hmm. that's asking a lot," she says, "but i'll run it by my manager - he likes teachers!"

10 minutes later we're finalizing a deal on the car for $9,250. woo-woo! my philosophy has always been, "the worst they can say is no, so you may as well ask!" but this, coupled with my borderline paranoia keeps my expectations low.

talk about being thankful for things - this has been a real surprise and blessing to me. that wagon's been great, but when you've been driving something for almost a decade, you don't really realize what a piece of junk it is. this new car is so sweet and it really rides well. and it's QUIET which for me is a HUGE deal. engine's quiet. the ride is quiet. and smooth.

it's our fourth saturn. if they keep treating us like this (and they will), we're gonna end up with a fifth when lise's is ready to go in a couple years.

come on over. we'll give you a ride in it while the new car smell is still in there.

lurking, are you?

2006-06-11T23:43:00.000-05:00

not for long, perhaps.

my AIM account has been active for years and years. before AIM was cool, i was on it. i may have been the reason AIM became cool in the first place, who knows.

my ICQ account is one of the originals. while membership on ICQ is now numbering in the hundreds of millions, my account number is 744908 - i've been on ICQ since the beginning of instant messaging.

my buddy list? hundreds. active? most of them.

so what's the point?

one of the things about AIM that is both cool and not cool is the ability to lurk - to have someone else on your buddy list but that person doesn't know you have them on there. you can read all their profiles, their away messages, see when they're on and off, etc.

over the last year, probably a dozen people have been outed as lurkers because of viruses - you know, the ones where someone "sends" you a message saying something like, "hi!! I just edited one of our pictures in photosuite, you think I should put it to myspace?" and then there's a URL to click on? and then kaboom - you've got a virus because you download something hoping to see pictures or whatever. and the next thing you know, AIM sends a message to everyone on your list who's logged in.

and i'm always logged in.

and some of my lurkers are then like, "holy crap!" and are embarrassed that they were outed.

and others won't respond at all.

and a small minority are like, "hey! how're ya?" like nothing strange is going on.

haha. well, at any rate, this message is a warning to either:
a) beware of messages from people who claim to have edited pictures with you in them
b) out yourselves before you're outed involuntarily

honestly, i think the whole thing is rather funny, but it does make me wonder... who's out there lurking and watching...?

besides George W, that is.

jack's taking a civilian hostage

2006-06-09T15:36:00.000-05:00

proof of further degradation of the franchise.

there's GOT to be something we can do!

how about this! we'll set up a perimeter around keifer sutherland and have curtis guard him so no one can take advantage of the poor viewers and thus preventing the public beating to death of jack bauer.

for those about to rock...

2006-06-08T22:51:00.000-05:00

i've had a hearing problem for as long as i can remember. i've had some funny experiences with what i think i hear and what is actually said. if you've been around me for any amount of time, you've probably experienced it yourself.

one thing i've never been able to do is understand lyrics to songs without having the lyrics in front of me- even songs where there's not enough music to interfere with the words - i just can't understand them! it's been a problem ever since i fell in love with music thirty-some-odd years ago. i learned to enjoy the music and worry about the words later (if ever).

this past week i've not been able to get AC/DC's song "You Shook Me All Night Long" out of my head. now, Back In Black was one of the first albums i ever owned as a jr. higher back in 1980 (in fact, i think my grandma bought this and For Those About To Rock for me for Christmas). the rocking tunes and screaming vocals not to mention the crunching guitar of angus young - it was great!

but back to the point: You Shook Me All Night Long has been stuck and i find myself over and over and over starting off with the opening riff, going right into the thumping drum and then: the lyrics that i've never understood (except for a couple lines like the chorus). the lyrics to songs generally get treated like music - i can't identify the instrument but i know it's good and goes well with the song.

so i decided to crank the song up (over and over) and look up the lyrics online.

and i had to laugh. what an awesome frickin' song! and so silly! it's no wonder it's such a lasting anthem - i mean, wouldn't it be awesome if sex were always like that?? it's the ultimate male fantasy! the walls was shakin, the earth was quaking, my mind was achin, we were making it and you... shook me all night long!

well, the lyrics certainly are illuminating and only make the song better. now i can rock with full knowledge and understanding! i can now work doubletime on the seduction line! YES!!

i've always been borderline paranoid

2006-06-06T14:29:00.000-05:00

well, maybe that's an exaggeration, but there are a lot of times when i'm really not sure whether what people say is the truth, whether something i've worked for i'll actually receive, whether the intentions of the person(s) i'm dealing with are in the right place, whether i actually deserve something i'm told i deserve (or think, at times, that i DO deserve), if someone is talking about or planning against me, etc.

now, we can psychobabble this to the end of time (it's trust issues, it's poor self-esteem, it's that i've been hurt X number of times, my mommy didn't love me, my ice cream fell off the cone in 1st grade, i listened to too much judas priest when i was growing up, i had a girlfriend who laughed at me when she saw me naked, i was breast-fed, i wasn't breast-fed, i'm co-dependent, i drink too much water, i don't lather-rinse-repeat - choose the one that makes you feel best) but it won't help the situation.

i graduated several months ago from Cincinnati Christian University. in other words, i finished my coursework. it felt good and strange but i was sure that something would come up to screw it up. i wouldn't get my diploma and i'd have to do something else (another class? some weird requirement i didn't hear about 5 years ago?) to get it.

then i graduated a month ago during a ceremony at CCU, but none of us got our diplomas when we walked the stage. why? they wanted to make sure we actually did everything we needed to do to satisfy graduation requirements. i was certain (although i only shared it with a few people) that something would come up and even though i walked the stage, i'd not get the diploma. "the other foot" (that i feel so used to sometimes) would come crashing through and prove to me what i already knew: i screwed up somewhere and i'm not really graduated yet.

well, the diploma came today. i'm not sure what happened to the other foot (or what implication this holds for my semi-paranoid psychosis) but now it's real.

i've really graduated from college.

now to hide the diploma so when the government men in their black helicopters come and break into my foil-lined office to steal it, they won't be able to find it.

that last part was a joke.

life with the beach

2006-06-06T07:35:00.000-05:00

lise and i are trying to decide if we're gonna make a summer trip to the beach or not.

taken over christmas last year, our trip to pensacola ended up being the best vacation we've ever had.

why? truth is, we've never taken conventional vacations in our 16 year marriage. we usually take a couple days, fill the gas tank and just go driving, stop randomly, hang out, then move on. we've never gone someplace and stayed for several days. ever.

we got a condo right across the street from the gulf of mexico and it was gorgeous and perfect. we hit the beach every late morning and found hundreds of seashells and sand dollars (brought back 5 gallon-sized bags full of them) and got our feet very cold in the water (outdoor temps were in the upper 50's, lower 60's and the water temp was about 60 - but hey! when you're from cincinnati where the avg. december temp is 18....). drove around the city of pensacola (and quickly realized: the beach is more interesting). rushed to the beach every day at 4:45pm to snag pictures of the sunsets (absolutely the best sunsets we've ever seen). hung out at the condo later in the evenings and watched movies and had dinner. ate at flounder's our last night there (the key lime pie was the highlight).

simply put: it was the best vacation ever.

well, the condo we stayed at is available for the third week of august and amazingly at the same price as we paid back in december! almost $300 less than peak season of July! what does this tell me? pensacola beach empties out by mid-august, which would be perfect for us!

we've asked our good friends travis and sarah if they'd like to come with us this time. negotiations are pending. obviously money is the biggest issue.

but for 5 days on an incredible beach? it's worth it.

no, really - turn up your sound and click play: the Evolution of Dance

2006-06-03T08:59:00.000-05:00

...and one for the road

2006-06-02T17:06:00.000-05:00

today was the last day of school for both lise and i and what a year it's been.

lise admits that it was anti-climactic for her: hey kids! last day of school? good! get the heck out!!

for me, i've only been at this school since... february? there were some good times, some great people, the kids were cool... but not enough of a connection to really pull at the heartstrings.

we're looking forward to three months off together. oh, yeah baby!

why don't you come over and have dinner with us sometime?

neil young's newest album is...

2006-05-28T23:53:00.000-05:00

interesting.

it's an anti-war, anti-Bush album from one of the granddaddies of protest songs.

i need to listen to it again before giving in-depth comment.

right now, you're going to face JUSTICE!!

2006-05-22T23:28:00.000-05:00

the season finale of 24 dropped tonight and it did several things for me:

made me angry - when president logan hit his wife in the airplane hangar, i wanted to kill him! we all knew something fishy was going on, but oooOOOoooooh - i hate that guy!!

confirmed my fears - 24 is going down the toilet. lise and i are in agreement: season one and season four - excellent. seasons two and three: ehhh. season five: bleah!

made me feel warm inside - when president logan finally got what was coming to him and the look on his wife's face? hahaa - PRICELESS!!! oh, that was a good shot!

intrigued me - sad as it is for me to admit: the ending of the show tonight makes me wonder where season six is gonna start from. china? will aaron pierce be the new jack bauer?

oh, and further proof of the shows impossible premises: chloe showed an emotion other than disdain for a fellow human being. c'mon - get real!

trees glorious trees

2006-05-20T23:50:00.000-05:00

my great-aunt nettie died last weekend. she was in her 90's and had suffered from alzheimer's for a short while. she died peacefully in her sleep. she was a strong and powerful (forceful?) woman who was much ahead of her time when it came to independence. the stories my mom and my aunts and uncles tell of her are incredible.

i found out earlier this week that my aunt diane wanted to honor nettie by planting a tree. all in favor said "aye" and the motion was passed. the tree (a kwanzan cherry tree - same as the ones in washington DC) was purchased and then it was decided that it would be best to plant it in our yard. how this decision was made eludes me, but it's beside the point. i found out wednesday that we were having a tree-planting ceremony at our house on saturday. haha.

a small crowd of folks came over to plant the tree, take some pictures, write short memories of nettie on playing cards (her favorite pasttime), hang them on the tree, then go inside and talk and eat the night away. it was a good time.

one highlight of the night was sitting on the front porch with my uncle glen. we talked about a lot of things while we were out there. at some point glen looked at me and asked seriously:

"scott, did you hear that cincinnati is building a new zoo?"

"no," i said. "i've not heard anything about that."

"yeah, they're putting a fence up around kentucky."

and for the next five minutes, glen and i sat on the porch laughing our heads off.

well, the tree is really a nice tree. lise and i are looking forward to seeing it grow and getting to see these gorgeous double blossoms it's supposed to have in the spring!

by the way: the memories i have most of aunt nettie are when she and her husband, my uncle tony (from whom i got my middle name), would come into town in their green camper. i remember several times them driving from LA to cincinnati and staying with my grandma. all the stories and the card-playing and the cartoon characters she used to knit into signs for the back window of the camper - good memories.

someone shoot me

2006-05-19T12:15:00.000-05:00

this article falls under the category of

OH MY GOD WHO THE HECK CARES?!?!?!?!?!?!?

random collection of mismatched thoughts

2006-05-18T22:33:00.000-05:00

1. the new red hot chili peppers CD is most awesome. you ought to get it. it's got an eclectic blend of different styles and sounds. some folks think it sounds like their old stuff, some think it sounds more like their more recent stuff. i think it sounds GOOD. i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this double CD is the best album they've put out yet. funky. polished. rock!

2. the da vinci code movie is out this week. the book is incredible - it's no literary masterpiece but it IS gripping and i read it in a day or two. i couldn't put it down. all the commotion from christians about this movie has really been amusing to me. i like what ron howard (the director) said today in the washington post: if you think it'll make you upset, DON'T SEE IT! good heavens, and can't we just enjoy a book or movie nowadays without making it some kind of crusade? certainly the "facts" presented by dan brown are not "facts" at all but can't we pull the stick out of our collective butt and just relax a little bit and watch a movie for entertainment? bigger things and people have attempted to shut down the message of Jesus (and intentionally at that) and have failed.

it's JUST A MOVIE!

3. tye von allmen

4. lise's been crazy busy with 2 online classes the past month. she's got 2 more weeks. it's been lonely in the evenings while she's online doing her work. i've tried. i've tried hard to sit and watch TV while she's busy. but i've gotta tell you: THERE'S NOTHING ON!!! and i keep meeting folks who pay money for cable tv and i just can't do it. there's nothing on the regular channels and what i've seen of cable over the years - i'd get stuck watching CNN or MTV all the stinkin time. what i'm able to watch is already too mind numbing for me. but this won't stop the local cable company from knocking on my door, offering free installation and 2 months free and then looking at me like i'm crazy when i refuse. has no one ever refused the cable company before? ought i get a bar code tattooed on my forehead so i can blend in better?

5. i ordered an invisible fence system for the backyard for dolby. it came a couple weeks ago. i guess i ought to go out and install it now?

6. tomorrow is jean day at school. pay $5 (for a good cause - i think tomorrows is cancer research) and you get to wear jeans to school. this deal makes me feel strangely warm inside. now, if it were shorts and birkenstocks day, i'd pay much more for the opportunity.

7. neil young has a new CD out. it's an anti-war-president-bush-is-a-dumbass album. the reviews from customers at amazon.com are somewhat amusing. one guy suggested that neil needs to give up the protest song writing and leave it to the younger crowd. haha. HAHAHAA. gosh. must be some 18 year old. isn't neil one of the granddaddies of protest song writing? at any rate, i've not bought it yet. stay tuned.

8. i'm tired. goodnight.

i suppose this is it.

2006-05-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

i'm officially educated.

at least, that's what i'm told.

the graduation ceremony was long. looong. i was wishing for a pellet gun to start picking off some of the speakers after about an hour. isn't that horrible?

the truth is, everyone said it was a very nice ceremony and i didn't hear any complaining (haha - except from myself). i suppose the problem for me was that all the graduates were behind the speakers instead of in front of them on the floor. i couldn't hear a thing that was going on. being up on stage was kinda cool - getting to see everyone in the audience.

Lise's family came in from Toledo. Mom picked up my Uncle Glen and navigated the city without directions. Dad and Karen cut their month-long trek through the southwest short by a day or so to get back in time. my Grandma was there. my brother was there, too! zow! several good friends like adrienne, eric, ema, rick, denise - they came as well!

these pictures, in order:

jon weatherly and i - he's been a big supporter (not to mention a stellar professor and dean). i was trying to do rabbit ears on him but it ends up looking like horns. hmm. so many directions i could take that, but i won't.

dan dyke and i flashing the sign he flashed at me just before i got my diploma. unfortunately, with this being a family blog, i'm not at liberty to explain what it means. i can't say enough about dan as a professor and a friend. of all the good things i can say about my time at CCU, the relationships i've built with people there are probably at the top of the list. dan's been a phone call away many times. he's also in the top three of the finest professors at CCU.

me, my mom and my uncle glen. they're twins (no, i'm serious). they rock. they've been encouraging and supportive through the whole thing.

my dad, myself, and karen. they've been HUGE supporters over the last five years. they took us in for a year when we moved back from maryland, they've supported us financially for a spell when we were going through lise's cancer and lise's position had been cut at the school. they've been encouraging and always available. it's definitely true that if it wasn't for them (and especially karen), i wouldn't have graduated yesterday from CCU.

and most importantly: me and lise. she's the greatest wife on the planet. i can't imagine being anywhere else than with her, wherever that might be. over the last five years we've faced the biggest challenges of our sixteen year marriage with multiple life-altering illnesses, college for me, buying a house, etc. but we've come through it all in one piece. she is the coolest, most gorgeous and awesomely supportive chick i know. she is another huge reason i made it through the last five years of school.

it's been a wild five years getting to this point. feels good to be here.

i've still got it.

2006-05-11T23:34:00.000-05:00

whatever "it" is.

last night i taught up at travis' youth group at his church in middletown.

and it was a strange feeling. it's the first time i've taught or hung out at a youth group since leaving impact back in december.

i rarely get nervous teaching or speaking. big groups, small groups, youth group, church, retreats, camp, etc. but last night i was concerned. i was thinking, "oh my gosh - what if i've lost "it" and i can't do this?"

and then i went in and taught and hung out with the group. and it rocked.

whatever it is - apparently it's still there. and i'm reminded that it's not about me - and that helps keep perspective.

calling all stalkers, lurkers and other shady characters

2006-05-10T22:52:00.000-05:00

my graduation is this coming saturday - may 13th. 10am at cincinnati christian university's worship center / multipurpose building.

all friends and stalkers are invited.

a map can be found here.

i'll be looking for you.

come walken with me

2006-05-03T23:28:00.000-05:00

some folks might feel it's too early to be thinking about the 2008 presidential election.

not me.

christopher walken is running and i'm jumping on his platform now!

you really ought to join me.

http://walken2008.com/

the 24 drinking, er, Oreo game

2006-05-02T23:17:00.000-05:00

this season of 24 has hit a new low for lise and i. it's taken me beyond what is logically acceptable and pushed me out of the plane. there's NO WAY that the current situation could even remotely have played out this way.

now, please: don't tell me, "it's just a TV show" - like, DUH!! but come on! this whole president logan in conspiracy with the terrorists and his poor wife, aaron pierce lasting as long as he did, kim coming on the show again without doing something totally stupid, non-satellite phone reception in airplanes, bauer's knowledge of plane anatomy, and the list goes on and on and on and on....

the sad thing is: sutherland has signed on to do three more seasons! NOT a time for rejoicing.

now, all this might be driving me to drink, except that i'm not a big fan of drinking. i'm not a fan at all of drinking games. this drinking game, compiled from a couple different ones located online, has been modified to accomodate Oreo Cookies instead of drinks or shots. and of course, eating is something i do with great proficiency and skill. you ought to try it.

24 Oreo (drinking) Game

Every time...
Jack says "You have got to trust me", take 1 Oreo
-- if the emphasis is on "got", i.e. "You have GOT to trust me", take an extra Oreo
Jack says "DAMN it!" take 1 Oreo
Jack doesn't have time to explain, take 1 Oreo
Jack doesn't have time for this, take 1 Oreo
Jack says "You've got to do it", take 1 Oreo
-- if this is followed by "and you've got to do it now," take 2 more
Anyone points out something that is "against regulations", take 1 Oreo
Anyone has got to understand what is at stake here, take 1 Oreo
Anyone gets tortured, take 1 Oreo
-- if they aren't a terrorist or criminal, take another Oreo
a perimeter is set up, take 1 Oreo
-- if the perimeter is supposed to be held until someone arrives, take another Oreo
-- if the agents manning the perimeter are redeployed, take yet another Oreo
Jack takes a civilian hostage, take 1 Oreo
Jack steals a car, take 1 Oreo
Jack blows his own cover, take 1 Oreo
Jack dies, take 1 Oreo
-- if he's resuscitated, take another Oreo
- Every time somebody says "protocol," take 1 Oreo.
If Jack is able to infiltrate a building or perimeter:1 Oreo.
Take another Oreo if he makes it out alive.

*Special technical section* Every time...
Satellite coordinates are requested, take 1 Oreo
-- if they can't get the coordinates, take another
there's a problem with the database, take 1 Oreo
a file is in the wrong format, take 1 Oreo
something needs to be rerouted, take 1 Oreo
someone uses another person's computer, take 1 Oreo

1) The time is displayed. (1 Oreo)
2) There is an explosion, a bomb going off, or a plane/helicopter crash. (1 Oreo)
3) A tender or sentimental moment is interrupted by a ringing cell phone. (2 Oreos)
4) There is a major plot twist that renders a significant amount of work done by CTU/Jack Bauer useless. (1 Oreo)
5) Someone you thought was with the "good guys" is revealed to be in with the "bad guys." (2 Oreos)
6) Someone is held at gunpoint. (1 Oreo)
7) A defibrulator is used (1 Oreo).
If it actually saves the persons life. (2 Oreos)
8) Someone dies. (1 Oreo)
If they're a A CTU / Governmental executive or other major plot character. (2 Oreos)
If the person is killed just before they reveal important information, discover something crucial, or solve some puzzle. (3 Oreos)
9) Jack Bauer miraculously recovers from an injury or very narrowly escapes certain death. (2 Oreos)
10) Jack Bauer does something that is against protocol. (1 Oreo)
If he gets caught. (2 Oreos)
11) Jack Bauer asks to speak to the president. (1 Oreo)
If he says "It's important." (2 Oreos)
12) Jack Bauer yells, "Drop your weapon!" (1 Oreo)
13) Jack Bauer says, "You just have to trust me" (1 Oreo)
14) Jack Bauer interrogates someone. (1 Oreo)
If Jack gets pissed off and yells, throws things (or them) around. (2 Oreos)
If Jack kills them afterward. (3 Oreos)
15) Some computer whiz at CTU decodes, analyzes, decrypts, or hacks something. (1 Oreo)
16) Kim Bauer says or does something extraordinarily stupid. (gets kidnapped, lies to the authorites, etc) (2 Oreos)
17) An old character who you thought was dead, fired, or gone forever comes back to surprise everyone (2 Oreos).
18) Someone is being a complete asshole, or a total moron and is preventing CTU, Jack, or the "good guys" from saving the day. (1 Oreo)
If the above someone is Kim or Sherry (2 Oreos)
19) Sherry Palmer says "I'm doing this for you, David", or "This is for the good of your Presidency".(2 Oreos)
20) Someone on Palmer?s staff advises him not to do something. (1 Oreo)
If he does it anyway. (2 Oreos)
21) Someone on Palmer's staff does something sneaky behind his back. (1 Oreo)
If Palmer fires them for it. (2 Oreos)
22) Information is leaked to the press. (1 Oreo)
If the leak was unintentional (2 Oreos)
23) Someone without government clearance is told a secret they aren?t supposed to tell anyone. (1 Oreo)
They tell someone anyway. (2 Oreos)
If Someone is Kim. (3 Oreos)
24) Something bad happens three seconds before the episode ends. (Finish your Oreo)

woe to you who try to play the 24 oreo game while watching the show on DVD!

blogging against the church

2006-04-30T09:53:00.000-05:00

the washington post has an interesting article regarding this issue.

i've considered doing this.

but then i think: why should the whole church be punished for the actions of a few?

i guess it's difficult no matter what you do in church leadership, as you're not just leading a flock of people, you're also running a business. where does the "tending the sheep" end and the "business" begin? at what point does the responsibility for an individual's spiritual and mental health end and the responsibility to the business-end (financial?) of the church pick up?

strong you are with the force, hmm?

2006-04-27T22:54:00.000-05:00

this is a crude caricature of one of my best friends, travis, otherwise known as t-bone. on this particular day that the caricature was drawn, t-bone was looking a lot like captain kangaroo.

travis and i met five long years ago at Cincinnati Christian University. it's a rather funny story, but let's cut to the chase, shall we?

travis is funny. i have been accused of being funny. together, we're a bundle of inappropriate fun.

over the years, we've terrorized CCU proper and CCU faculty with such antics as going around the campus plastering the "every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten" pictures all over (on office doors, in place of peoples faces on pictures, in windows, under the Dean's door, etc) and doing our Two-Headed Mr. Know-It-All routine (to the amazement and annoyance of all around) to pass the time. we also have swapped out and taught each others' youth groups too many times to count, gotten our women together and been silly, eaten more indian food than is legally allowable in the state of ohio and we've plumbed the depths of urinals at rest stops in rural illinois. travis is my best friend and i love him to death. we have waay too much fun together.

but none of this has anything to do with why i'm blogging about him.

travis is one of the funniest people i know. he is able to do an imitation of Yoda that just makes me crack up (and more often than not, fall out of my chair in laughter and tears). not only does he do a killer Yoda, he is also able to do a very twisted version of Elmo. to make matters worse, he has the uncanny ability to imitate Yoda and Elmo together having a conversation and i must tell you that i'm laughing even now as i think about it.

it's so bad that i was almost run over by a car in downtown st. louis because i was laughing so hard at one of his "conversations" - hahahaa.... oh. ok. stop laughing. breathe.

anyway, this Yoda "Got Milk" ad reminded me of him and as i told him at dinner tonight, i need to get it to him. what better way than by blogging about him?

as always, you can click on the pictures to see a bigger version of it. enjoy!

president logan sucks

2006-04-24T23:23:00.000-05:00

this'll be a short one.

i really hate president logan. he makes my skin crawl. i have this overwhelming urge to scream like a possessed man and claw his eyeballs out any time i see him.

i've tolerated his wishy-washy presidential performance during last season's 24, but this is getting ridiculous. how did he suddenly come up with this nefarious scheme?? how do you go from zero to a hundred and twenty so quickly?

now, it's no surprise to folks who know us that we're not huge fans of television. lise and i are married to only a couple shows (well, two, really: 24 and the simpsons). most television makes my blood run lukewarm or even slow down to a trickle. this season of 24 is probably one of our least-favorites, but this man drives me friggin NUTS!

but to make matters worse - his poor wife! oy, i'm verklempt!

now, the thing that keeps me watching?

there's got to be something awful happening to president logan at the end of the season when all the chips are down and he's caught in a corner staring at the business end of Jack Bauer's gun.

and i'll be there. oh, yes. i'll be there!! muaah. muaahhahahahahaaa!

Casino Royale?

2006-04-22T23:53:00.000-05:00

well, casino something.

lise and i have been on spring break this week and have been having a blast. sleeping in, chilling out together, long lunches, drives out to the middle of nowhere, gazing longingly into each others eyes, the soft touch, the kiss, the rush to the bedroom, the...

er, nevermind.

but on friday we decided to go to Applewood for lunch in Aurora, Indiana. They have the best ribs that i've ever had (and i'm convinced it's THE SAUCE).

while talking about what we'd do afterwards, the thing that came to my mind was: many folks we know do the casino thing over in indiana. family, friends, acquaintances. some take medium amounts of money, others take loads of money.

and they go to the casino and blow it.

so we thought: hey! i know! let's go see what all the hype is about!!

so we took $20 out of our change jar and off we went to the Grand Victoria in Rising Sun, Indiana.

folks, i gotta put a disclaimer in here: this post isn't to put down folks who enjoy gambling but it's an observation from my own perspective.

this is what we saw:
- smoke. lots of it. smoke smoke smoke. smelled it, too. smelled it for hours afterwards all over my clothes and hair. smoke.
- grey and blue hair. lots of little old ladies and little old men.
- wheelchairs. tons of em.
- handicapped people - being dragged around by little old ladies. this was strange.
- a lot of depressed looking folks sitting in the same spot for hours on end pushing buttons and pulling levers and for what? entertainment? money? something to fill the time before death?
- a lot of "what the hell are you looking at" looks from folks who looked like they were gonna shank me because maybe i wanted to get into "their seat" at "their slot machine"
- cash changing machines, ATM's and money-wiring services EVERYWHERE. they really want you to part with your cash.
- despair. depression. frustration. only one man in the whole time we were there (in three floors we explored) looked as though he was having a good time. hundreds and hundreds of other folks just. looked. miserable.

we took our $20, sat down in succession over 45 minutes at $1, $.25 and $.05 slots, ended up spending $8 of our own money, winning $10 and subsequently losing that $10.

it was possibly the dumbest thing i've ever done in my life. i just don't get it.

i've never understood it, really. i mean, the odds are clearly against you. the average joe doesn't stand a chance to win - if we did, casinos wouldn't be in business!

if the lottery is a tax on stupidity, what do we call gambling at the casino?

so you're in an airplane...

2006-04-19T22:54:00.000-05:00

and it crashes. you're the only survivor. you manage to swim to a deserted island where you quickly convert your CD player to solar power using only coconut shells and palm fronds. now if only you had some CD's to play.

the next day, walking up the beach, oh my gosh! what's that?!? a package is floating near the shoreline. you run out into the surf to retrieve it and magically it contains the three CD's you wish you could listen to for the rest of your life!

with an average life expectancy of 77 years, you've got a long way to go. choose your three CD's wisely and please leave a comment with your choices. (note: your third CD can be a box set if you so choose).

my three:
Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon
Waterdeep's Sink or Swim
John Coltrane & Miles Davis' The Complete Columbia Recordings

contemplating grad school

2006-04-16T11:06:00.000-05:00

so as i ponder the fear and wonder of being registered, locked and loaded at xavier university, i couldn't help but laugh at a recent repeat of the simpsons.

it included this clip.

and in that vein, feel free to send loose change and large bill contributions to me via PayPal - my username is youthdude@gmail.com. on behalf of my wife and i, as well as my academic career, thank you.

what happens to toys at our house

2006-04-07T22:05:00.000-05:00

lise and i have recently realized that we have a very smart dog with very powerful mandibles of death.

if you look at some of the first pictures we have
before we got him, then some of the pictures from those first couple weeks and even the offensive poop-eating post, you see this sweet, adorable little puppy.

and then he grows up.

dolby loves his toys. he's got a small basket with maybe 12-15 toys in them. some are balls, some are stuffed toys, some are ropes, some are Kongs.

he's taken to pulling the stuffing out of his stuffed toys. it was cute at first. we thought he was adorable and just being a sweet little puppy.

but then his baby teeth fell out.

and they were replaced with these huge, ferocious, chomping teeth that can seemingly plow through anything. mandibles of death.

we got him this stuffed hamburger toy a month or so ago. it lasted 3 weeks before the stuffing was out. i thought to myself, "hey - that's a pretty good toy that can last this long!" being the smart dude that i am, i went and bought him another.

i forgot. he's smart.

the second hamburger? lasted about five days. he had figured out what he had to do to get the thing open and unstuffed.

the Kong toys are supposed to be indestructable (especially the black ones - they're like steel belted radials) but he's already gone through three of them. we've only had him for 3 months.

but come on - isn't he adorable?

hey! stop chewing on the furniture!!

what an unusual feeling

2006-04-04T22:24:00.000-05:00

tonight i graduated from college.

i've got so many emotions that i'm not sure what's what. it's like a dreadful elation.

how do i explain this?

i started college (univ. of cincinnati) when i was 19. i screwed off, didn't know what i wanted to do, took too many student loans, aimlessly took classes and then dropped out before i was kicked out.

when lise and i got married (15 1/2 long years ago) we moved to Washington DC for me to go back to college. one thing led to another and i dropped out after one semester there.

lise ended up going back to school and graduated back in 97.

we moved back to cincinnati for me to (wanna guess?) go back to school.

and now. five years later. age thirty seven. i'm finished.

elation because i'm done! woo-woo! elation because i now have the coveted four year undergraduate degree. elation because 5 years of hard work paid off!

dread because i'm done! dread because i now have a degree in something i no longer desire to do. dread because... do i have to grow up now?

i start at xavier for grad school the week before i walk the stage at graduation from CCU.

i guess if i were honest, fear is a part of these emotions, too. giddy fear.

so much has happened over the last 2 years.

well, graduation is may 13th at 10am at CCU. you're all invited, of course. even my stalkers.

music and language

2006-04-02T00:36:00.000-05:00

last night lise and i were at toko baru in clifton after having a wonderful dinner at Apna India - while we were looking around, the music playing caught my ear. and kept catching it. i had to ask who it was and the answer was James Blunt.

now, i'm a big music guy and i'd heard the guys name used by a couple people and have read about him in the paper and magazines, but i'd not heard his music until then. well, lise went out on a shopping trip with Blunt's Back to Bedlam CD on her list.

it's fantastic.

but the purpose for the post focuses on the language.

i noticed while looking on amazon.com last night that there are two releases of the CD - the "Clean" version and the "Explicit Lyrics" version. i didn't think too much of it except to make sure that i didn't get the bleeped version of the album.

language has almost never played a part in my decisions on music or even movies. it's never been a big deal for me - being as hearing impaired as i am, i've always heard the music first and read the lyrics later (if ever - there are some songs that i LOVE but have NO idea what's being said, and this after 20+ years of listening to some of these songs).

but tonight i was talking with a friend about this and she mentioned how she was shocked when she heard the F-bomb dropped on Blunt's hit song, You're Beautiful after she bought the CD. Apparently the radio version isn't bleeped out as i imagined - it's replaced with "flying" instead of "effing".

now, my question for the masses (and seriously - take a second to respond, even just with a yes or no - i mean, you're already here reading this): Does language play a part in your decision whether you'll buy a CD or rent a movie? if so, how? if not, why not? is there a ratio of cursing to not cursing that is acceptable or not? for example, Blunt's CD contains what looks to be 3 or 4 curse words (the F word once, the S word once, "bastard" and maybe a "damn") - it's not like a 50 Cent album. does that matter?

thanks for your help.

oh yeah, baby

2006-03-31T00:10:00.000-05:00

yes. this is the fender custom telecaster limited edition.
and it's mine.
a butt-kicking graduation present from my dad.
dad rocks.
and now, so do i.
*plugs in*

update: for specs, check here. the difference between the guitars is
that mine has dimarzio humbucker pickups

anyone up for a road trip to san francisco?

2006-03-27T16:00:00.000-05:00

must be a slow news day today.

the washington post has this article on the Church of St. John Coltrane in today's online edition.

being an ardent follower of Coltrane's music, i was inclined to look into this church several years ago. it seems the african orthodox church canonized John Coltrane a number of years ago and this church formed in san francisco back in '71. since then i've been wanting to go out there and check this church out.

i wonder if i could start a sister church here in cincinnati....

for those of you whose musical interest is now piqued, you'll want to start with Coltrane's A Love Supreme

we got spooned

2006-03-26T16:19:00.000-05:00

and no, not the kind of spooning between a boyfriend/girlfriend.

i'm talking spooned in the sense of spoons stuck in our yard and in our shrubbery. :-)

lise's in toledo for the weekend with her family. i'm home alone with the dog finishing up all coursework for school (due next monday april 3 or no graduation for scotty) and chilling out. dolby and i went over to my mom's today around lunch time. this is normal for us.

i receive a phone call before 1 from a group of young bored teenagers asking where i am. well, at my mom's like almost every sunday! well, bummer! we're trying to find something to do, is the reply. drat, says i - had i known, i could have switched things around. better luck next time! tell everyone hi and i'll catch ya soon.

fast forward to 4pm. pulling into the driveway i note that my lawn looks a bit... different. there's spoons all over the lawn in the shape of a broken heart and lots more spoons in my shrubbery.

we've been spooned by a group of young hooligans.

i love you guys. this was just what i needed today. you guys kick butt!

now, hopefully they'll stay where they are til lise gets home tomorrow or i may need to be re-spooned. :-)

update: many thanks to Adrienne (Rocky!) and her crew for the spooning - i know your hearts were broken and your spirits crushed that we weren't home, but don't forget Psalm 34:18 - The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

meet jessy

2006-03-25T11:35:00.000-05:00

jessy is one of my girls from yet another youth group. it's rather funny: she shouldn't have been one of my girls at all, but she is.

lise and i were a year away from moving back to ohio from baltimore/D.C. and had left a church to start a new inner-city church in downtown baltimore. that church quickly fizzled and we were hurting. we decided we wouldn't get involved in the youth ministry of the next church we joined. we needed a break.

after several months of being at north arundel church somehow word got out that i was a youth pastor. the youth pastor at the church was burnt out and crispy and the group was rather listless. i was asked help out in the group and i decided i'd do it, warning them that we were moving in the summer of '01 to cincinnati - little did i know that it would turn into a 9 month stint that saw me basically replace the YP and receive an offer to become the YP permanently for that church.

jessy was 16 at that time. maybe she was 15. however old she was, she was very different from most of the other teens i had worked with in years past. she was mature. she was confident of herself. she was tall - OMG was she TALL (i still call her Amazon Woman and she doesn't beat me up)! she was open and honest. she was lead singer in a band with three crazy boys and we all knew who the boss was. dudes, she had pipes that could out do singers who had been singing for years. she had the kind of magnetic personality that just made you want to get to know her and be around her to see what would happen.

she was (and is) beautiful. she loved (and still does love) God. her family kicked (and still kicks) butt.

she, lise and i quickly struck up a relationship that endures today. with previous groups we had years to develop relationships. with jessy's group we had 9 months. we packed a lot of conversations, a lot of band practices, a lot of lunches at the Eastern Buffet in Laurel, Md, a lot of discipling and talking about our lives in light of God's Kingdom in those 9 months. it was a whirlwind.

and then we moved. and it hurt.

but we still talked online several times a week. and when we would go back for visits to maryland, we hooked up and ate chinese food. and we even got to spend five days with her the next summer at the Creation Festival (the picture above was taken there). she started at mcdaniel college that fall and we continued to talk and it blew my mind listening to her speak her heart about ministering to other students at the college. she continued to blossom and grow and amaze me with her compassion and love for others.

and at one point i almost got to make good on my threat to jackass boyfriends. she hooked up with some dude that i call "hoor-geh" (don't ask) and i was suspicious from early on. the more she told me, the more i thought i ought to pack my bags and head to westminster, md to administer a beating. i even devised a quick solution to make him repent his ways (don't ask). but luckily, jessy dispatched him. but she hurt. bad. i still contemplate my final solution for him and wonder what i would do if i met him in a dark alley...

jessy graduates from mcdaniel in may. she is an awesome woman. lise and i miss her terribly. but i know without a doubt that whatever she does, wherever she goes, she will make her way with the help of God. she makes me very proud - we're lucky to have her as a friend.

and hoor-geh - if you're reading this.... beware of dark alleys...

it's been a busy week...

2006-03-17T17:28:00.000-05:00

...sorry for no posting this week. been too tired to do anything!

so in lieu of an actual post tonight, i give you..

50 Fun Things to Do on the First Day of Class

Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"
Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector.
Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name, don't wear it out!"
Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".
Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would go if he died tomorrow.
Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.
Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
Become entranced with your first physics lecture, and declare your intention to pursue a career in measurements and units.
Sing your questions.
Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.
When the professor calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."
Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Wuchen Li. If you actually are Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez O'Reilly.
Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.
Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that you've done so.
Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY".
Inform the class that you are Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.
Stare continually at the professor's crotch. Occassionally lick your lips.
Address the professor as "your excellency".
Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been drinking.
Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.
Bring a mirror and spend the lecture writing Bible verses on your face.
Ask whether you have to come to class.
Present the professor with a large fruit basket.
Bring a "seeing eye rooster" to class.
Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?" Become aggitated when the professor can't understand you.
Relive your Junior High days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard erasers.
Watch the professor through binoculars.
Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.
Ask to introduce your "invisible friend" in the empty seat beside you, and ask for one extra copy of each handout.
When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
Sit in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.
As soon as the first bell rings, volunteer to put a problem on the board. Ignore the professor's reply and proceed to do so anyway.
Claim that you wrote the class text book.
Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and scream "IMPOSTER!"
Spend the lecture blowing kisses to other students.
Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup Sheet #5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the professor answers.
Wear a cape with a big S on it. Inform classmates that the S stands for "stud".
Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, "Can you spell that?"
Disassemble your pen. "Accidently" propel pieces across the room while playing with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces. Repeat.
Wink at the professor every few minutes.
In the middle of lecture, ask your professor whether he believes in ghosts.
Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you laugh.
Wear a black hooded cloak to class and ring a bell.
Ask your math professor to pull the roll chart above the blackboard of ancient Greek trade routes down farther because you can't see Macedonia.

for all of you high school seniors, this is something to print and take to your first day of college classes.

i ought to note that i pulled a couple of these, sometimes to hilarious results, at Cincinnati Christian University. this is your license to go forth and do it thyself.

meet JM

2006-03-10T00:39:00.000-05:00

this is JM. a frequent reader & sometimes poster in rustypants speaks, she is always one of Scott's Girls.

in fact, she is the original.

thirteen long years ago i was drafted into leading a group of 7th & 8th graders through one of the most mind-numbing bible studies ever created. and i had NO intention of working with junior highers. no friggin way. i signed on to teach 5th and 6th grade, but when i showed up that first night, i find that i've been "moved up" - and i was not happy about it at all. i've never worked with kids before! i don't want to start with the WORST age group of them all!!

too late. i'm stuck. grumbling and grousing, i go to my assigned classroom.

and in walks JM.

now, JM is not her real name or even her real initials. her name is jeanna. her middle name should have been marie. but it wasn't and isn't. but i've always called her jeanna marie and thankfully she goes along with it.

so in walks JM with a huge smile on her face and thus begins a 13 year long relationship that has been part of the reason i love youth ministry so much.

JM was in 7th grade. just starting 7th grade. i have no pictures to prove it (yes, you just heard her sigh with relief) but we began this friendship when she was 12 and i was 23. i had no idea what i was doing as her bible study leader but she never held it against me. over that first year we had a lot of fun in this class learning (there were only three of them - she, daniel and another girl who i can't remember...) and figuring out our relationship with God together. daniel was a general pain in the butt and the girls routinely took him to task and it was awesome. JM's dad was a big influence on me and discipled me for a summer - an experience i never forgot. she was young but wise and she had an outlook on life that was hard to beat.

and then, after one short year, she was gone.

her family moved to the middle of illinois just before she started 8th grade. i remember the sunday before she left - i gave her my Bible, some fumbling words of wisdom and a big hug. she gave me a pad of paper that had "From the desk of Scott" on the top and a pen. it was the greatest gift i had ever been given (and i still have it - i couldn't open it because i wanted to keep the note she had written on the back of it). i cried that night for the loss.

and then a funny thing happened.

i started getting letters. not email. not phone calls. letters. hand written, telling me about her life, asking questions, being encouraging, agonizing over some things, thankfulness for other things. and in some were pictures. i still have them. from 700 miles away i was watching that sweet little 7th grader become this beautiful young woman. and it blew my mind.

and then, seven or eight years ago, we discover that we have AIM. and we begin talking online. and what was a youth pastor / student relationship began to evolve into a friendship that i value very much. JM hit college and grabbed life by the horns. the more we talked and shared, the more i learned about who she was becoming and her compassion for people, hearing her sensitivity and loving/caring attitude, the more proud i became of her.

meeting her boyfriend (now husband) rob for the first time was a blast. i have no idea what he thought of me but seeing how happy she was with him was all i needed. i can almost guarantee that he was given The Speech ("hurt my little girl and feel my wrath, yada yada") but i don't recall giving it to him.

and then getting to be a part of her wedding a couple years ago - well, that took the cake.

JM continues to become more beautiful, inside and outside. she continues to make me so proud of who she's become, the decisions she's made, the way she loves her man and the way she loves God.

and all this, friends, is part of why i love youth ministry. and JM.

how stereotypical

2006-03-10T00:21:00.000-05:00

i am sometimes amused by folks who are part of a segment of the population that shun and hate stereotypes who then stereotype those who they perceive stereotype them.

far from being one who would cry, "why can't we all just get along" - my cry would be, "oh, why can't we all just grow up!?"

haha - but then would i be labeled "intolerant"?

well, i've always rooted for the Musketeers anyway...

2006-03-07T14:34:00.000-05:00

i just received word a couple minutes ago that i've been accepted into Xavier University's Masters degree in Special Education program! i'll also be in the Licensure program - this'll end up being quite a few extra classes but hey - if i want to be certified to actually teach what i learn....

i've been on the edge of my seat waiting for weeks to hear so it feels pretty darn good to have the word! woo-woo!

very exciting news! now, does anyone have a spare $25,000 laying around that i can borrow?

dog days...

2006-03-07T08:40:00.000-05:00

i wish i had something interesting to talk about.

i find out this morning whether i've been accepted to xavier university's grad program for special ed.

seeing Crash get the Oscar for Best Picture sunday night was good. if you've not seen this movie yet, run - don't walk - to buy it and watch it. lise and i were really surprised at how powerful it is, bought it after renting it (and watching it twice) and have watched it several times since then. it's just that good. if you've ever seen our diminutive DVD collection you know we don't get this excited about a movie very often.

the Brokeback Mountain phenomenon puzzles me. i've told people that i don't care to see it and sometimes i get funny looks, as if to say, poor, intolerant bastard - but the truth is: it's not a subject i really care about. despite wide public acceptance of the film and the topic of male cowboy love, i'm just not interested. is it because i'm some stuck-up christian? haha - nope. i'm just not interested in a movie about two guys who cheat on their wives for years to have sex with each other. if that makes me an intolerant bastard, then.... well, i've been called worse.

spring break is around the corner and lise and i will be heading to maryland for several days. looking forward to it a LOT. we need a break.

dolby is still eating poop.

and speaking of dolby eating poop, he needs a quick trip to the toilet that i call "the backyard."

stay tuned - something interesting is bound to happen!

this... is an ex-parrot!

2006-03-01T13:32:00.000-05:00

don't forget, friends - parts three and four of the monty python best-of is tonight on PBS starting at 9pm! tonight - john cleese and terry gilliam!

to hold you over: the parrot sketch.

most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational

2006-03-01T12:46:00.000-05:00

tax refunds rock.

we paid bills. put a huge chunk in the bank. gave each other $100. and agreed on one joint purchase.

The Muppet Show, Season One on DVD.

silly? yes. sentimental? yes. hilarious? YES!

if you were pre-10-years-old back in the mid-70's when this show came out, this was one of the best shows on TV. i mean, sure, we had sesame street, but you didn't get this kind of nutso humor there!

lise and i disagree on our favorite characters, but for me you can't beat Statler and Waldorf. those two old men in the gallery are a riot!
a typical exchange:

-That was wonderful!

- Bravo!

- I loved that!

- Ah, that was great!

- Well, it was pretty good.

- Well, it wasn't bad ...

- Uh, there were parts of it that weren't very good though.

- It could have been a lot better.

- I didn't really like it.

- It was pretty terrible.

- It was bad.

- It was awful!

- It was terrible!

- Terrible, way!

- Bah, boo!

- Boo!

my friend gov't cheese has already pointed to this but it deserves another look - one of the best sketches ever to appear on the show: Mahna Mahna.

the silly interview

2006-02-28T09:19:00.000-05:00

last wednesday's broadcast of the best of monty python's graham chapman was both hilarious and sad. hilarious that he was such a comic genius and sad the way he lived his life (the drinking which affected his work and his smoking which eventually killed him).

i sat on edge waiting for my vote as the Best Sketch to be shown, only to be disappointed. they didn't air The Best Sketch of Graham Chapman!

so without further ado, i present to you, the reader, The Best Sketch of Graham Chapman!

enjoy.

procrastinator's dream

2006-02-27T09:45:00.000-05:00

have you ever messed with a zen garden?

this comes courtesy of a friend of a friend of a friend.... well, you get the picture.

it's a virtual zen garden and it's a hugely entertaining, relaxing way of... wasting time?

here's the link. have some fun. use your mouse to click and drag lines around the sand and elements. scroll down to the bottom and play with the controls. make sure you click on the links at the top of the page to get an idea what you're supposed to do.

but most of all, play a bit. relax.

and now for something completely different

2006-02-22T11:19:00.000-05:00

starting tonight and for the next 3 weeks, PBS will be airing specially made episodes featuring the personal favorite Monty Python sketches of each of the members of the group.

click here to read more about it but whatever you do, don't miss it. who cares about the olympics when MP is on air?? for those of you in the cincinnati area, channel 48 starting at 9pm - tonight: eric idle and graham chapman!

hi, my name is scott...

2006-02-21T14:37:00.000-05:00

...and my dog likes to eat his poop.

many have asked for updates on the puppy and that's the biggest update. he eats poop. his own poop. others dogs' poop. goose and duck poop. if it's poop, he eats it.

we go outside to go bathroom - he poops and promptly turns around to give it a taste. we go for walks in the neighborhood and there's Rex's poop from around the corner - hmm, how does this taste? we go to new richmond and walk by the river - hey, there's goose and duck poop! a tasty treat! thank you for taking me for walks so i can munch on poop!!

it's gross.

so the vet offers me a prescription that is supposed to make poop-eating as disgusting to dogs as it is to you and me. this plus the heartworm pills: $115.00. into the food it goes. yay! dolby eats the prescribed anti-poop-eating stuff!! oh, boy - there's "the look" that says, "i'm about to explode!" - out we go! dum dee dum dee dum... here comes the squat, out comes the poop! yay!! dolby pooped! now let's go back inside!

no! dolby, NO! LEAVE IT!! GET AWAY FROM THAT POOP!! STOP IT! ewww!! dolby! you're supposed to think poop-eating is gross now!! oh! stop licking my face! bleah blah pbbtthhh!! so much for "works instantly" and "makes poop undesirable".

otherwise, he's good puppy. we're having a lot of fun with him. he's growing fast and having a lot of fun. and he eats poop.

ice, ice baby

2006-02-17T14:32:00.000-05:00

today on washingtonpost.com there was an online interview with vanilla ice and the results are somewhat comical.

i'll let you read it for yourself, but one section i'll quote is:

Washington, D.C.: What do you think of Eminem?

Vanilla Ice: I'm glad there's another white guy out there having success because it's all been on my shoulders for so long.

to which i say: vanilla WHO?? is there some other "rapper" named vanilla ice who's actually been successful RAPPING and not just successful at getting caught as a poser and worn-out has-been appearing on such loser-filled shows as the surreal life?

duebber - help me out!

reading and listening

2006-02-17T00:03:00.000-05:00

stuff i'm reading:
Ray Bradbury: Life of Fiction - this book looks at key writings of Bradbury and the literary style, editing and wrangling with publishers and editors that brought these books to fruition. they analyze the carnival atmosphere and attitude that goes through all of his writings (stemming from his first collection back in the 40's - Dark Carnival - and through much of his subsequent books such as Dandelion Wine and Something Wicked This Way Comes). it's an interesting read IF you know much of the works they're looking at. it's very dry and academic and i'm frankly having a hard time finishing it.

A Great Improvisation : Franklin, France, and the Birth of America - a book that i waited 6 months for. a book that i highly anticipated being awesome and fantastic and all around enjoyable. a book that i almost stopped reading another book just to start this one.... and guess what? i can't get past the first thirty pages. it's just... flat. it's not grabbing me at all.

The Johnstown Flood, by David McCullough - having finished his biographies on John Adams, 1776 and Harry Truman, i had to keep reading his stuff. i've only just started this but so far it's excellent. i don't know what got me on this history kick, but wow - good stuff. his narrative style is very readable and clear - helps you to get lost in the fact that it's a book. he's good at bringing his subjects to life.

given the greatness of McCullough's writing, i'm not sure why i'm even bothering with trying to finish the first two.

books in the que:

Mornings on Horseback, by David McCullough - a Teddy Roosevelt bio.

Teacher Man, by Frank McCourt - his autobiographical Angela's Ashes and followup 'Tis blew my mind. here's book three.

Blue Like Jazz - everyone's talking about this book. i've had it for months but haven't read it.

A Man Without a Country, by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. - easily one of my favorite writers - vonnegut is a nihilistic writer of observations about the human condition. his hardcore sarcasm and pessimism have led me to wonder how he's made it to such a ripe old age without killing himself.

stuff i'm listening to:
Neil Young - Prairie Wind - one of his best. slow. thoughtful. acoustic.

Jimmy Smith - The Sermon - can't get this one out of my CD player - it's as funky a jazz/blues album as they come, with smith, one of the finest Hammond B3 organists of his time, laying down some funky lines and all his sidemen falling into place - i can't get past it!

Duke Ellington - Money Jungle - ellington, roach and mingus together - what could be wrong about that?? i'm listening to it now and just swingin with these cats.

Over the Rhine - Drunkard's Prayer - mesmerizing.

Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness - the ultimate Pumpkins album. i don't think i'll ever get tired of this one. Corgan is a genius. and when i heard that he presented Pink Floyd with the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame award, it all made perfect sense. kindred spirits.

albums i'm waiting for:
David Gilmour - On An Island - Gilmour, guitarist / vocalist for Pink Floyd - this is his first solo album since i was a freshman in high school (yes - a LONG time ago). can't tell you how long i've waited for this day...

if you're still reading at this point, congratulations. i'm boring myself with all this.

meet karen p. see

2006-02-14T23:45:00.000-05:00

meet karen. aka "kar" aka karen patricia.

she was mentioned in my newsboys rant a couple days ago. unfortunately she was not named by name and was subsequently a bit miffed. i promised i would rectify this situation.

karen was indeed the one who accosted the hated peter furler and forced him to confess to his heinous crime of duplicity.

kar was one of my girls from a youth group i was a part of from around 1998 - 2000. i met her when she was all of 14 or 15 years old. the above picture is probably from summer of 2001. she's all grown up now and she makes me proud. and not just because of the forced confession of peter.

karen is one of those youth group kids that you get close to and you love to death. and you keep loving even when it seems like they're moving in an all together completely different direction than you hope they would go. and you love even when you eventually lose touch for one reason or another. and you just love because you've been there with her for so many different things over the years.

i worried about kar for a couple of years. and it's the kind of worry that makes you want to say something or shake the person really hard and say "what on earth are you thinking??!?!?!" but you don't because you know sometimes decisions have to be made and things need to happen to grow and learn. and sometimes you learn. and other times you don't.

when karen caught me in mid-2005 and told me all the things she was doing (starting at Lancaster Bible College, dating an awesome Christian youth-pastor-dude named kevin, working with her youth group, wanting to get into the missions field, among other things), i cried. no joke. i was so happy and so thankful and so proud of her. heck, i still am. she has become an incredible woman.

i got to meet her now-fiance' kevin back in november and gave him my standard "if you hurt my little girl, i will be forced to come back, hunt you down and kill you" routine (it comes standard with being one of Scott's Girls) but even as i was giving the speech i realized that this was one guy who would treat her right. and that made me even more happy. and proud.

so there you have it. you've now been properly introduced. kar recently gave in and got herself a myspace account. if you care i'm sure you can track her down.

chronic (what?) cles of narnia

2006-02-13T10:46:00.000-05:00

saw narnia friday night for the first time with lise. it was good. enjoyable.

only thing that bugs me (more like "distracts me") is poorly done computer graphics. i was fine until the beavers and aslan. it was STILL a good movie - that was just distracting.

the chronicles of narnia rap still makes me chuckle. a lot.

the newsboys rant

2006-02-08T20:21:00.000-05:00

it's no secret that i despise the newsboys. as a youth minister, i couldn't stand having to go to their concerts, buy their CD's or, heaven forbid, play their music at youth group. i was youth pastor to a particularly rabid group of newsboys fans back in 1998-2000. "step up to the microphone" came out in '99 and i swear that if i had heard "entertaining angels" one more time, i'd have driven my car off the road and ended it all.

how, then, do come to have peter furler's (newsboys frontman) autograph framed and proudly displayed on my bookshelf?

i had developed a theory around this time simply to drive the newsboys fanatics crazy that went like this: peter furler and billy corgan (lead singer / songwriter of the smashing pumpkins) both shave their heads, both play guitar, both wear eyeliner, both sing lead in their respective bands. but when the newsboys are on tour, the pumpkins mysteriously disappeared. when the pumpkins were on tour, the newsboys were "back in australia" - recording dates also seemed to happen at opposing times. peter and billy had never been seen at the same time in the same place.

it must be, i mused, that peter and billy are one and the same!! this drove several people a bit nuts when i would talk about this "conspiracy" and illicited protests and much eye rolling.

fast forward to the summer of 2000. newsboys are on tour in maryland (where we lived and did ministry). the week of our summer camp the newsboys are in town. two of my girls skipped camp this summer to see the newsboys (a sin, i was certain). they had paid extra for the backstage passes and i decided once and for all to resolve the peter/billy question.

taking a pic of peter and putting it next to a pic of billy, i printed the result out and gave it to the girls with the order that they were to meet peter backstage, explain my theory, show them the picture and confront him with the ugly truth of his duplicity! they, of course, rolled their eyes, but then promised they'd do it.

i was floored when, after camp, they hand me back the picture i gave them with peter having written: "This is NOT Billy" with an arrow pointing to billy corgan's picture. he then signed the picture - THUS PROVING that my theory is CORRECT!!

while i still don't like the newsboys, peter/billy has found a special place in my heart. and when he brings the pumpkins back together, i'll be first in line to buy the CD.

sideshow bob...

2006-02-07T08:35:00.000-05:00

...is my hero.

suave, crazy, silky-voiced killer.

a man not afraid of pursuing world dominance. not afraid of spiky-haired hooligans. not afraid of knives (and knows how to use em, too). not afraid of rakes. (ok, that last one was a lie)

what's not to love?

"I did once try to kill the world's greatest lover, but then I realized that there were laws against suicide." - sideshow bob

the best thing about superbowl XL?

2006-02-06T00:32:00.000-05:00

the Simpsons at halftime.

sure, sure - the game was good, but we're not really that much into pro football anyway, so watching tonight was obligatory because nothing else was really on. we don't shell out for cable or satellite, so we're stuck with what we can get. we're movie-d out and there we were. we usually watch for the commercials, but with a few exceptions, the commercials sucked this year. advertising budgets down? or just creativity?

but the Simpsons - and one i hadn't seen yet (the Italian Bob) - saved the evening.

intelligent design v evolution

2006-02-05T16:31:00.000-05:00

an even-handed article on the intelligent design v. evolution debate with some darwin facts and discussion from scientists who are christian that make for a good read.

the author will be having an online discussion about this article monday at 1pm @ washingtonpost.com - i'm interested in seeing what he has to say and what the reaction is to all this.

i need to read it again before commenting on it.

pumpkins are back?!?!

2006-02-03T10:39:00.000-05:00

wow. billboard reports today that it's looking more likely than ever that the smashing pumpkins are getting back together - or at least that billy corgan and jimmy chamberlin are reviving the name and putting together a supporting ensemble.

i want to be excited and happy, looking forward to new tunes from the group (a group in my top five favorites) but...

reunions, getting bands together that broke up five years earlier, this all concerns me. the pumpkins were relevant 7-8 years ago with the teenage and young adult crowd. their fans are now older, out of college and moved on to life. (haha - except this one, obviously).

will anyone care?

brahma? gesundheit!

2006-01-30T23:51:00.000-05:00

click to see larger picture, eh?

tonight, lise and i went to Apna India in Clifton to have dinner. a favorite place to go and sit for 2-3 hours, eat, draw pictures of people we're mad at on the backs of the placemats, gaze longingly into each others eyes and try to forget all the stuff going on around us.

one of my favorite shops, Toko Baru, is on the same block as Apna, so we always must go in and shop around. tonight was a stunning trip certain to go down in history.

i got two Handy Hindu finger puppets. and folks, lemme tell ya: i'm jazzed.

i was able to get brahma, the hindu Creator god, one part of the hindu trinity which includes vishnu and shiva. he's credited with creating the human race out of himself, by making a goddess out of himself - half male and half female. he has four heads (and used to have five) but i'll refrain from explaining why. i'm sure you can do a Google search on brahma and find out more yourself.

i also got kali, the hindu goddess of time and of death. she's pretty wild looking, with six arms and her tongue sticking out. i'm certain that a Google search on kali would also explain more.

i was hoping they would have Ganesh (the elephant headed god - some of you will remember Homer Simpson disguised as this god), but alas they did not.

my hindu finger puppets join the ranks of my Satan Sock Puppet (thanks, Tracey!), Jesus Action Figure, Nunzilla and my catholic rosary. woo-hoo!

existentialism in the comic pages

2006-01-30T23:35:00.000-05:00

certain friends of mine claim to not understand the comic strip Zippy the Pinhead.

click on the above strip to see it full size.

then read it.

do you honestly not get it??

20 years ago...

2006-01-29T23:47:00.000-05:00

on january 28, 1986 at 11:39am i was in architectural drafting class at Amelia High School. my teacher, mr. shimp, let us listen to the radio at full crank while (as long as) we did our work. that's when we heard that the space shuttle challenger exploded during take-off.

it was one of those really stunning things. i'm not old enough to remember things such as Nixon resigning from office, wasn't born when Kennedy was shot. this was the first BIG thing that happened - the kind of thing that people say you'll never forget where you were when it happened. i never have.

the shuttle program has been around so long now that no one really pays attention when this or that shuttle is launched, but at this time in the history of NASA, shuttle liftoffs were still televised. a good part of the rest of the day was spent listening to the radio or watching the TV and seeing the explosion shown over and over and over and over again.

nothing profound to point out here. just remembering the awe and shock of that event. you hope that there might only be one of those kinds of events in your life, but then other things inevitably come along, both on a national / worldwide front and a personal front.

dolby's here!

2006-01-27T12:18:00.000-05:00

click to see dolby a bit bigger.

got home with no problems! already sniffing around in things we're gonna have to move around. very goofy and playful - we're having fun exploring the house together - him finding things he shouldn't and me finding things i need to move. hah!

more pics later.

hair today, gone tomorrow

2006-01-25T00:26:00.000-05:00

It was noted by a so-called friend that not only have the things listed in the previous post changed, my hair and hairline have changed as well.

back in '86 i had some serious hair. i mean, it was thick and difficult to deal with. hairspray and mousse were required to keep it in one place and a goodly amount of the morning before school was spent wrestling it into position.

now those of you who know me halfway decent know that my hair is not a source of vanity. i got tired of messing with it years ago and got it cut short and love it. i've bleached it and colored it purple, green, blue and pink in the name of youth ministry (lost bets, summer camp, among others) and have been mohawked at least once.

am i glad to have thinned out and moved back on top? i dunno that glad is the right word for it, but i will say that i'm glad to still have what's up there, but also glad that it's not as thick and unruly as it once was.

i made a pledge several years ago - i will never have a combover. ever.

i have only one complaint about the current state of my hair: about an inch down from my current hairline there grows one. solitary. hair. on my forehead. a reminder of where my hairline used to be. i've taken my hair loss and change in color (touch of gray?) completely in stride. but this one hair drives me nuts. it taunts me. cruel cruel hair.

reeling in the years

2006-01-24T19:37:00.000-05:00

while getting the house puppy-proofed, moving things around and packing things that have been laying out, i came across my school ID from waay back in '86 - 20 long years ago.

what was different back then?

i was skinny. no kidding. when you did all the things i did back in high school, there's no time to eat!
i was in the jazz band (keys)
i was in the choir (bass)
the music i listened to included all the horrible stuff that the 80's produced (Chicago, Quarterflash, Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band, Bruce Springsteen, Judas Priest, Elton John, etc.) - folks, it was a bad decade for music.
i owned (and still have somewhere here in the house) those skinny little ties with the silly stuff all over them (my favorite was the white one with the keyboard going up the side).
i didn't have a car.
my best friends were the reason i made it through without killing myself
my girlfriend at the time and i were involved in ALL the drama that so drives me crazy with high school students today (but she said that you said that omg i'm going to effing kill her and omg did you see what he is wearing and kiss me eww get away from me you stupid jerk i love you i hate you come closer get away).
my best friend and i would spend our friday and saturday nights driving around the back roads of clermont county by the satanic church and chase kids, or maybe buy beer or wine coolers from those places we knew wouldn't ask me for ID and sit on the side of the road and watch the stars and drink.
i wasn't a christian and thought all christians were buttheads. the strange thing is that now that i am a christian, i still think christians are buttheads. am i calling myself a butthead, too? but of course.
i was afraid of nothing and did so many stupid and reckless things it's a wonder i made it through those years at all.
i had no plan for life beyond right where i was at the time i was at. very very shortsighted and had no hope for the future at all.
one of my friends and i tried out for a lip-synching contest/dance at school - we put on long beards, cowboy hats and had 2 tennis rackets and we lip synched to ZZ Top's Sharp Dressed Man - we were rejected.

here i am, 20 years later, 37 years old. it's a strange thing, getting old. whether it's good or bad, the jury is still out. i know for certain that i wouldn't go back to my high school years for anything. they weren't the "good old days" but i suppose they could have been a lot worse than they were.

we've adopted a puppy!

2006-01-21T22:08:00.001-05:00

lise and i took the plunge this weekend and went to visit a labrador retriever rescue here in cincinnati. we had talked for months about getting a dog but never very seriously. this past week we decided to go for it - we wanted to get one from a rescue and this one seems like a great group of folks.

i was up late thursday night filling out the 4 page application - we figured it would be a couple weeks before we heard anything and got through the process of interviewing, etc. hah! friday morning we got the word that we were approved and we could come saturday and visit!

the first two dogs we wanted to see (Cassidy and Aero) were not going to work out for us. :-( we had decided before going that we weren't up to getting a puppy (too young, too much training, not house broken, wanted an adult dog that maybe no one else would want) but we were willing to look at them. BIG MISTAKE!

Dolby was adorable. of the 8 puppies they brought out (all at the same time) dolby was the sweetest, most laid back and cool dog of the bunch.

we didn't bring him home yet - he's being *ahem* "fixed" this week - between that and our need to dogproof the house (and buy lots of stuff for him), we'll be picking him up on friday.

excitement! nervousness! happiness! fear!

make an appointment to come see him next weekend.

my sentiments exactly...

2006-01-06T10:05:00.000-05:00

click on the image to see it bigger

theory on christian thuggery

2006-01-06T02:03:00.000-05:00

over the past couple months i've been trying to work a theory out on why christians treat each other as they do. why the backbiting? why the rude, accusatory way we treat each other? why the suspicion? why the doubt and questioning? why, especially, the lack of forgiveness (or even opportunity to attempt to make things right - achieve forgiveness and mend brokenness)?

is the answer really as simplistic as the fact that we're all broken sinners living in a broken world?

aren't we supposed to be set apart? aren't we supposed to be models for the world-at-large of how forgiveness and restoration are achieved? are we not supposed to be mirroring to each other (and the world) the very thing that Jesus came and showed? that Paul explained further?

i realize that this may sound like a knee-jerk reaction to recent events but the truth is that it's been in my mind since realizing my need for Jesus 17 years ago. in the 17 years since then, i've seen so many hurting people hurt other hurting people in the christian community and it disgusts me.

i'm certainly no saint and have done my share of the hurting (intentionally and not). upon realization of the hurting i've caused, i'm always needing to seek forgiveness - my conscience doesn't allow me to let these things go without acknowledging my part in it. mending what was broken and being given the opportunity to make right, or at least attempting to, is crucial.

but having discussed this with several people whose grasp of Jesus seems stronger than mine, the overwhelming sentiment is that we're sinners. broken. we don't play well in the sandbox together.

one person said, "scott, you're not REALLY surprised by all this!" "of course i am," i replied. "no " he said, "you're just shocked because it's your turn on the receiving end."

we're all just broken sinners?

seems like a copout.

I Love the Washington Post. I Miss DC.

2006-01-06T01:07:00.000-05:00

people ask me why i miss living in the DC/Baltimore area and this is only part of it.

where else could you get a full article on the legality of mooning?

and to think - i lived there for 10 years and not once did i moon anyone in public. drat!

i did give the finger to a cop, however. that story has since become a great youth group illustration. i don't suggest trying it for yourself just to be able to tell the story. you can use mine.

Christmas in Pensacola

2006-01-01T23:14:00.000-05:00

well, not exactly IN pensacola, but the week before christmas was spent there. they say a picture paints a thousand words, so let the pictures speak for themselves.

check them out here.

this was easily the best vacation we've ever had.

Boondocks for 12-17-05

2005-12-18T00:38:00.000-05:00

click to see full size.

hahaa - this is just the funniest comic strip! why the cincinnati enquirer dropped it is beyond me. oh wait! cincinnati thinks it's an all-white town! ohhh! of course!

anyway.

the whole week's strips have been focused on the struggle between the juxtaposed/intermingled jesus and santa. go here to see the other strips and hit "previous" to view them. you'll thank me later.

Deep Dark Secret #1

2005-12-01T23:45:00.000-05:00

there are times when i don't like christians.

and at those times, being identified as one makes me feel ashamed.

Thanksgiving ain't for the birds

2005-11-29T23:51:00.000-05:00

lise and i had a blast in maryland with friends and adopted family from our 10 years living in the DC/Baltimore area. thanksgiving highlights included:

one of my girls, karen, getting engaged the day before thanksgiving to her youth minister boyfriend (who we got to meet for the first time over the weekend - we think he rocks! MARRY HIM!!!). karen is at lancaster bible college now and i'm so proud of her i could pop.
getting to see crissey (or christiiiina, as i call her) and seeing how much she's grown and how proud i am of her
seeing kimberly and matt, up from virginia beach staying with kimmy's mom. kimberly has blown my mind, too. i've known her and karen and crissey since they were 14 years old - kim and kar are 22 now and crissey is 20 - i'm getting old, folks.
staying with our old friends barb and joe. they've been some of our best friends for many years now. we miss them terribly.
my making a trip to CD Depot in college park, md (around the corner from UM) with my poker winnings and walking away with a ton of incredible CD's.
finishing David McCullough's John Adams and wishing it wasn't over. isn't that silly?
LOTS of time with lise driving to and from and in between. can't imagine anyone else i'd rather be with than her. she rocks my socks.
wishing we could move back to maryland.

all in all, a fantastic time with old friends!

Jim Borgman is a genius

2005-11-18T15:48:00.000-05:00

for all my students who are suffering through the college application process, you'll love this.

check it out

Krauthammer chimes in on evolution and intelligent design

2005-11-18T11:23:00.000-05:00

charles krauthammer deposits his $.02 on the evolution / intelligent design fiasco as well as our friend pat robertson, the kansas school board and the dover school board. read it here.

Winter Reading List

2005-11-16T15:19:00.000-05:00

i've been in a bit of a mental pickle this past week or so. having a hard time shaking it. not much i feel like commenting on at this point, but i will mention the winter reading list.

as much as i read (2-3 hours daily, usually at night before bed) i've never been a big history or non-fiction buff, but these past few months have me reading both like a crazy man.

finished reading The Bradbury Chronicles back in september. bradbury is probably my favorite of all authors (in particular, Dandelion Wine and his hundreds of short stories). it's a fascinating read for someone like me who has been reading his books for 25+ years. a good bio, if not written a little too enthusiastically by the author.

in october, jon weatherly loaned me his copy of David McCullough's 1776 - a non-fiction book about the tail end of 1775 through the beginning of 1777, following General George Washington and the continental army in their battles and dealings with the british army during the revolutionary war. to my surprise, it was a very intriguing read and i was hooked.

bought McCullough's John Adams (the companion to 1776) and am 2/3 of the way through it. it's even better than 1776 (and won the Pulitzer Prize). it's an 800 page biography of Adams' life, focusing mainly on the political life and his relationship with his wife Abigail.

mixed in with all this, i read The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind by Mark Noll. a mind-blowing critique on the loss of the intellectual mind among evangelical christians. should you read it? absolutely.

for just plain reading fun, The Cat's Pajamas was a good read, too.

re-read Fahrenheit 451 last month, too. when you're reading the biography of ray bradbury, it's hard to not want to go back and read some of the classics. a word of warning, however: when you hit ebay and find a copy of one of your favorite books on CD that has been read by the author and you get all excited and order it, please do a quick check:

- is the author currently 82 years old?
- has the author recently had a stroke?
- does the author's voice now sound like someone speaking through a wet washcloth that has been jammed in his mouth?

if any of these apply, DO NOT BUY THE BOOK ON CD!! pull your copy off the shelf and read it yourself. you'll thank me for it later.

books currently in the holding pattern:

McCullough's Truman, a biography of Harry Truman (another Pulitzer Prize winning book).

C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain and The Great Divorce.

by the way, anyone want to buy a great classic by ray bradbury on CD? $10. cheap!

Record High Oil Profits

2005-10-27T10:28:00.000-05:00

is there something wrong with exxon mobile posting $9.9 billion in net profits for this quarter?

i think so.

ooops, off to fill the tank on the van!

Liberal Christians

2005-10-26T08:46:00.000-05:00

my friend, the mighty scott duebber, raises the question in his blog "did God create liberals" and it reminded me of a very funny photo lise and i took during our summer 2005 vacation.

we drove from cincinnati to viriginia beach to assateague island to baltimore taking back roads exclusively. as we drove through a small town in west virginia, the following billboard was seen. i thought it was so funny that i just had to pull over, laugh HARD and then, of course, snap a picture.

here you go:
why was this so funny? i dunno. it just seemed kinda crybaby-ish, like a kid who doesn't get picked for for kickball on the playground. i can see the kid's face scrunch up as he folds his arms over his chest, stomps one foot in the dirt and says, near tears, "Hah! Well, Democrats are Christians, too!" as he runs off to find someplace to cry alone.

Fo Shizzle

2005-10-19T20:48:00.000-05:00

you bes' be gettin the down low here, yo

sorry. zippy has always made me smile

2005-10-19T18:17:00.000-05:00

Miers

2005-10-19T00:22:00.000-05:00

Tom Toles, of the Washington Post, for 10-18-05

think the repackaging will help? i doubt it. While JW thinks she will be confirmed, the more i read the less of a believer i am.

evolutionary intelligent design

2005-10-07T23:42:00.000-05:00

this is pat oliphant's editorial for 10-05-05.

Pranking is Fun! KIDS! Learn How in Your Spare Time!

2005-10-07T14:22:00.000-05:00

as i sit down to explain the sequence of events from this past 24 hour period, i come to find that it has already been documented. by the prank-ee, no less.

to read about it, simply click here.

and kudos to JW for being such a good sport. the balance of my academic life teeters precariously in his grip. but as noted earlier - there's nothing to fear.

Google, the new encyclopedia

2005-10-06T09:02:00.000-05:00

now, being 36 years old, i can remember back in the day having questions about this or that and being told by my parents to go get the encyclopedia or the dictionary and look up the topic or word that i had a question about and finding my own answers. sometimes these books didn't contain the answers i sought, at which point i was free to either drop it or go to the library and find a book that might explain.

so, why this post?

living in the digital age with all sorts of internet resources (among other things), it surprises me to no end the amount of questions i receive from folks who don't know what to do to get answers. they somehow think i know everything (a myth i'm not against propagating) when in fact, i fire up google (or one of a host of other resources) and give them the answer in less time than it took them to IM me and ask.

all this leads me to two things: this fine cartoon (that has no copyright information except my thanks to Matt Groening for Bart) and the suggestion that if you're unsure of the meaning of "propagate" you can click here to find it.

be sure to bookmark the site, while you're at it.

Intelligent Hurricanes? God hates liberals.

2005-09-28T17:12:00.000-05:00

Tom Toles, Washington Post editorial cartoonist, made me smile today.

Overindulged children? MY children?? NEVER!!

2005-09-26T11:41:00.000-05:00

while reading this article in Sunday's Cincinnati Enquirer, the answer to the question posed, from my perspective, is a resounding YES.

Here's the article

opinions and discussion are welcome. and more observations are on their way.

Sloppy Olympics THIS SATURDAY

2005-09-12T17:47:00.000-05:00

So seriously, now - when was the last time you got together with a bunch of your friends and just simply played messy games with food?

here's your chance. this saturday, september 17 from 2-4pm at iMPACT Church (6420 Bridgetown Rd) we're having the 2nd annual Sloppy Olympics - tons of food, lots of messy games, you and your friends and prizes to boot.

Want to see what it's about? Check out pictures from last year by clicking here.

Bring a change of clothes and make sure the clothes you wear there can be thrown away (yep, it's that bad).

See ya there!